Bam-Bam for President....

As promised, (and may I add, the first promise KEPT!) I worked my butt off this weekend, getting everything lined up for my run at the Presidents position. I talked, I/M'd, dial-a-shotted and met with the "real" force that is Blogdem and came up with a plan. A plan that will move us forward into economic good times and a peaceful and profitable future.

I Bam-Bam do solemnly swear, to uphold all that is right in Blogdem and thereby ensure and secure our future. With the much appreciated help of the few key players in some of the most critical positions in my party, I know that a vote for me will make your existence in our blogosphere, a more meaningful and enjoyable experience.

Although the list of running mates could go on forever and each and every one of them has their merits, there can only be one V.P. capable of delivering the message that is most critical to the success of this little venture. Standing beside me in this the newest of parties aimed at righting the blogger ship, will be none other than, "The Rooster." Holla !!! When something needs to be taken care of, or if you need, "The man" for the job, I say bring an A-Lister! I mean, why take a knife to a gun fight? As President with The Rooster at my side, I'll be taking my chances in this fight, with the one and only AK-47 of bloggers.

Our secretary of defense will be someone with guarded, but exceptional experience in such matters. The Wife brings a strong military background and sound knowledge of night maneuvers to our campaign. Her strength always appears to be weakness, and her weakness is her strength. Unconsciously sucking the enemy into a false sense of security, right before the strike that uncoils in a Cobra-like fashion. I'm told by a very reliable source who has actually just recently returned from Iraq himself, that our nation will be in very capable hands.

Secretary of the Treasury can only be one blogger. Who the hell in their right mind, would mess with our Gross National Profit with this guy in charge? Even with one arm and a Purple cast, (that I hear the chicks really dig, by the way!) there can be no one more reliable or more fitting for the responsibility involved in protecting our economic future, than Badblood. I think it's a great fit for him. If you do too, gimme' a Hell Yeah!

For the position of Secretary of State, I needed to come up with someone that really had their finger on the pulse of who we are as a community. Someone that truly understands what it means to be one Nation, divided by no one and united by all. Someone that not only could, but will represent us as a solidified unit, divisible by none. Someone that not only the World could respect, but those of us in our community could look up to for guidance and leadership, as they fulfilled their roll as S.of S....... I give you, Baywolfe.

Our Secretary of Transportation was another no-brainer. Hell, I'd ramble on poetic about the man's abilities and capabilities for the position all day long if I could. But I know four little words that will tell you everything you'll ever need to know about filling this position in correctly, I chose the Ferrari.

The position of Secretary of Labour, was just about the easiest position to fill. Find me a man with more drive and ambition to succeed than this one, and I say your introducing me to his twin brother. Get ready to work Blogdem! Riggstad is in da' house! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!

I dare anyone to challenge my choice for Secretary of Health! Find me an un-happy comment! Find me the negative in my choice! Find me a flaw in this decision, go ahead.... I'm waiting. It's with firm conviction that I offer up Oh Captain for this position. Prove me wrong. I love a good challenge!

For the Secretary of Foreign Affairs I just like you, wanted someone willing to tell the rest of the world one of the only three things that really matter in any negotiation.

-What they want to hear.
-Only what we want them to hear
or
-Just to FUCK right off!
I present Kat.

Me thinks I chose wisely!

Aide to The President? Gimme' a break! G_Cox is the only one I can trust to tell me like it is. There is no question.... if it needs to be said, it'll be said loud and clear. No B.S.

Now in these times of destitution and despair, we'll need a Minister of Natural Resources! We need to consider what there is out there naturally, that can help us! For that, we need a LuckBox. Someone who doesn't need to look too hard to find the help we need. Someone who can easily stumble upon Crude Oil in our own backyard, as an example.

I was trying to think of someone that could fill the position of Secretary of the Interior. I needed someone that had a great 'feel" for everything that was going on around them. That was the only way I could look at this position. I want a person in this position, that does have their head stuck in the Clouds. A real big thinker! Ladies and Gentleman of Blogdem, I give you, "Thunderpants."

What we need now is, a press Secretary. Someone with the "eye and ear" of the Public. Someone that can take nothing but a hairstyle, and use it to make a conference his own. Someone well... someone that understands the full extent to which the power of the media can be utilized. We need a Superstar! I think I've found just the right person in G-Rob. Exponentially, the single greatest thing since sliced bread. Just ask him! I think you'll find, we have our man.

Weeeeee..... (The Party) could not get our heads around the phenomenal number of members required to address our diplomatic relations with the rest of the world. That is until we realized, we had our very own Asian-Jew. Think of the results we can achieve in world peace, when we send in The BWoP to any negotiation! Melting like putty in our hands, the world will be as flexible as they can with us, after our smiling assassin gets control of any meeting weeeeeeeeeee decide to send her to. It boggles the mind!

So what's left?

We'll need a campaign manager. Someone that knows EVERYONE and has the ability to throw A BASH that no one will ever want to miss. I think I've got this one. I know a guy!

I am going to put my foot down on one issue that I truly believe has been neglected. Education ! I will be borrowing a little something from the Canadian political sytem and I will be bringing in the position of Minister of Education. This person will ensure that we all enhance our lives, with the reading of the truly great works of our times. Such as Truckin'. Knowing this man as I do, I don't think there's any reason to ask why Pauly!

Lastly, to keep it all honest for the Bloggers out there, we'll need to record every little dark and gloomy detail of our rise to power. We'll need to explore the bowels of our new little party, and make sure everyone can see that we just might not be perfect. We need an, "Inside man!" Someone who'll not only tell it like it is, but someone who'll help guide us through the darkest of times and share it with the rest of the world. We need an Eeyore! I've made all the calls that I can, and I honestly thought I was going to come up blank! But not wanting to let every single on of my compatriots down, I found the next best thing to Eeyore.

My esteemed colleagues will no doubt put up an extraordinary fight during this campaign. But Bloggers.....

I offer you my plan!

A vote for Bam-Bam, is a vote for you.

It's been one hell of a long weekend, I can promise you that. But having said that, I wouldn't do it, if I didn't think you were worth it.

I so solemnly swear.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....