The King's and I....

Like the malodorous stench known only to those familiar with having a pre-work exercising co-worker, show up in your office every day of the week at 7:00 am. sharp, just to let you know about the hot chick in barely any spandex that was doing the repetitive toe touches at the next station, I have a hand that haunts me.
(*NOTE* that was written solely for the enjoyment of Da'Drizzle!)

It's pocket King's.

At first peek of them in a live game, I'm certain that everyone in the poker room can sense the motion of regurgitating bile as it slowly starts to build up for release. When on-line, Peb's can attest to watching hand after hand of "The Bammer" or other various non-connected hole cards that simply get tossed into the electronic muck in a fluid and repetitive motion. Only to be followed by the, "fuck me" when I see the K-K hole cards I was just dealt in the game. I see them and I know I'm screwed. Now believe it or not, I'm capable of letting them go WAY easier than you could possibly imagine. The problem is, sometimes I'm forced into taking a shot with them. When this happens, I know I'm totally screwed!

Case in point. (again!)

Full Tilt Poker Game #7356421893: $10 + $1 Sit & Go (55932051), Table 2 - 200/400 - No Limit Hold'em - 13:39:09 ET
Seat 1: Villian (13,740)
Seat 2: BamBamCan (13,260)
BamBamCan posts the small blind of 200
Villian posts the big blind of 400
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to BamBamCan [Kd Kc]
BamBamCan raises to 1200
Villian has 15 seconds left to act
Villian calls 800
*** FLOP *** [2c 6d Kh]
Villian bets 1200
BamBamCan has 15 seconds to act
BamBamCan raises to 3600
Villian has 15 seconds left to act
Villian raises to 11,340, and is all in
BamBamCan calls 8,460, and is all in
Villian shows [2d Ac]
BamBamCan shows [Kd Kc]
Uncalled bet of 480 returned to Villian
*** TURN *** [2c 6d Kh] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [2c 6d Kh Ad] [As]
Villian shows a full house, Aces full of Twos
BamBamCan shows a full house, Kings full of Aces
Villian wins the pot (26,520) with a full house, Aces full of Twos

BamBamCan stands up - and immediately starts to sense the return of the bile that had been building up inside his gut for so long now. Also knowing full well that that bile itself, had started to eat a hole through him from the inside out.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


Skillz never enough....

Last nights Skillz game, (brought to you by cem) was STUD Hi/Lo. I managed to make it back from Golf just in time to get myself registered. Now the split game isn't my personal favorite variation of STUD, but since it actually takes more concentration than straight up 7-card STUD, I decided to challenge myself.

At times... "challenge" (Hmmmmmm...... how can I say this?)
Uhhhh........ wasn't a strong enough word.
Of course you always see 'interesting' hands in STUD and you can surely double the 'interesting' factor, when ever you're playing the split version.

I drew a great starting table featuring Budohorseman, jimdniacc, chitwood and a couple of folks I've had the pleasure of losing to steadily in my NLHE appearances in the blogaments, jeciimd and twoblackaces. There was enough skill level at the table to keep me interested that's for certain. It was also nice to sort of have everyone on my 'home turf' as it were, playing some type of STUD variation. This game definately had my full attention.

I basically cruised along with a semi-yo-yo like stack, taking the odd pot or hit here and there for the first little while. I was sort of chugging along, just trying to get a feel for how and what everyone would be playing as the evening went along. I was pretty much in my comfort zone I'd guess you'd say. Steadily as I was getting a better read on the play at the table, I built my stack up to a respectable amount by getting paid off by players running aggressive draws. Aggressive draws to one and two outs. It's an art to avoid the one outer, and apparently something I haven't quite got nailed down yet. Almost immediatly after having jimdniacc fold on 7th. street to what he said was a draw to a straight and flush, (I believe) we got into this hand.

Now I'm sure somewhere in the world someone will say, "you have a boat on 5th.st. and you let him get to 7th.st. to make quads on you?" That's fine. Opinion's vary greatly on how to extract that absoloute maximum amount of chips you can in a limit seven-card STUD game. But I'm pretty sure that those at the table who were paying attention know, just how lucky jimd was in that situation. I don't like losing to one outers, but it happens. Looking through the eyes of the other side in that hand, it's a total draw to low with how I played my hand and the two jacks showing after 4th.st. It was an interesting chase down to 7th.st. as the hand was played, and one lucky card saved his butt. Luck happens both ways and this time, I was on the down side of the equation. I was in total control of that pot so despite losing the hand, I actually lost less than I could have. I made a flat call at every bet made on every street after my one initial raise. With jimd showing a 4,6,2,5 board, I obviously wanted him to play a little aggressive, to let me know if he had hit or missed the low.

I grew up playing every variation of STUD imaginable so I know one thing for certain. All the skill in the world can't stop someone from hitting that miracle card against you.

MEH..... it was one hand.
( I really need to transfer that attitude to my NLHE game don't you think? )

I stayed around mid field with my chip stack but eventually built it back up to a descent size once again. With good fortune on one hand where I managed to stay ahead the whole way in one rather large pot, I actually took the chiplead for a little while in fact. I avoided a few scary looking boards along the way and let go of a few respectable draws, when I had missed good combinations by 5th.st. Fred and I seemed to be the most active players and we were often in the same pots together. I didn't really count them all, but I would say we chopped about 7 or 8 pots through the second hour of play. We also took a few good pots off each other in the same timeframe. He did "hammer" me one time for a fairly small pot. It was funny too. He even warned me about it at the time. Did I ever mention that I really like Fred? There's really something to be said about a guy that never 'taps the glass,' when he's taking all your chips in Hold'em.

As we made it to final table, MiamiDon and LJ joined in on the fun. All Don wanted was a hug and LJ could never really get anything going at all. I think Fred and I ended up splitting her bounty. Don ran the yo-yo stack routine for a little bit, losing a good chunk on a split between jec and I. Then ending up with a split himself on a hand where a draw managed to get there against him.

Half way into the third hour, I went on an expensive run of very high brings. In a five handed game, this really takes it's toll on the old stack! It wasn't long before I became nearly crippled by the Antes and brings. With the level being so very expensive and my stack being in a downword spiral, burried Kings with a suited Queen kicker ended up being the hand I was dealt that seemed reasonable to get all my money in with. There were only low cards showing on the board and even a split pot in that situation, would have made me enough chips to survive until the next playable hand. I got two insta-calls. They split the Hi/Lo after starting well behind me and I was done for the night in fifth.

Oh well like I said, sometimes the luck and cards are with you, and sometimes not so much! I played some seriously solid poker and read the boards pretty well all night long. Playing that way always makes me want to keep coming back, again and again.

I see Shrike took it down. Good on him! He played pretty well last night and is a deserving winner IMHO.

One final note for my readers out there. There's a new and very handsome face in our little kuh-myoo-ni-tee, take a moment to stop by PokerTarts and take a look. You'll be glad you did. I bet it makes you smile!

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


German Engineering, a bad beat story....

Ok, let me see……….. Where were we?

Ah yes! The latest in German engineered, ( but produced in Korea by child laborers for certain) dome tent is finally up and the rain suddenly came to an end. Right!

Those Germans Engineers are really smart too you know! They’ve managed to design the most brilliant of tents and made it about as easy to assemble as humanly possible. That is of course, if you can make any sense at all of the directions. Like I said yesterday, Peb’s is the directions gal and listening to her say things like, “insert large pole into pockets, then place small left over pole into the similarly small pockets accordingly.” can be rather erotic if you ask me. Helpful, not so much! After searching everywhere on the fly of the tent for “pockets,” we go back and read the directions one more time. Then again, and again… and one more time, just to make sure we’re not really the idiots that we seem to be acting like at the moment. “Pockets.” “Where the F did the Germans put those bloody pockets?” I actually said out loud several times. We had no luck at all and I tell you, I was a bit miffed that we’d managed to buy the only tent out there that those little Korean kids forgot to put the “pockets” on.

Then it came to me. Who had the most fun screwing with my head? The German Engineer that didn’t design “pockets” into the fly? or, the hot and sweaty kid working for $0.02 a day who decided to simply ‘miss’ the “pockets” on one of the thousands of fly’s that go by him everyday? One of them, must certainly have had a little, “tee-hee” to themselves, as they wondered who the moron would be, that was lucky enough to get this special surprise during assembly. Well I figure the kid couldn’t afford to lose his job and therefore, wouldn’t do anything so risky as this. “Damn German Engineers,” I screamed out to no one in particular. “Let’s go to the next step Peb’s, maybe we can get creative.” I said, as I wanted to keep pushing onwards. “The next step,” announced my darling Wife, “is on the next page just a sec. Uuuuugggghhhh…. Turn the fly upside down and fold back the air vents, in order to easily find the pockets.”

German Engineers – 1
Bam-Bam – 0

The whole group of us sat under the light of the slowly appearing moon. The skies were clearing, the beer was cold and the company was as it always is, fantastic.

The morning brought with it something I have never experienced in all my years of camping. Sunshine!! What an unbelievable feeling that was. To just stand next to a tent and let the warmth and radiance of that big yellow ball ‘O’ flames in the sky, reach deep into the fiber of my being. It was nearly orgasmic. So much so in fact, that just parking my ass in a chair and enjoying my coffee, was the only thought I could manage to muster for almost an hour. But there were mouths to feed, nine of them in fact. So DonKaaa, brudder Carson and I, all fired up our German Engineered stoves to get started. Surprisingly, all three fired right up. The plan was a simple breakfast of Bacon & Eggs and the plan…. Well, the plan went off perfectly thank you very much! There was even a point in the cooking process, where all three of us hoisted a glass and our cooking utensils in a generally Southeasterly direction, as we realized just how proud Al would have been of us. What, with not one but THREE stoves completely covered in some of a pig’s best work! With a tall-boy in one hand and a plate full of the pork motherload in the other, I was definately in camping heaven.

German Engineers – 1
Bam-Bam – 1

One of the special features of this little campground we were at is a long and winding River that meanders all throughout the countryside. And where there’s water, you’ll find TuckFards and their coolers for certain! In this case however, it’s TuckFards and their coolers ON the water. A three-hour ride down the River in a bunch of tubes, with a large floating inflatable boat in the center acting as the bar. What a trip! The only downside to this little group outing, was when the River decided Peb’s needed to be running the wood gauntlet along the shoreline, just to see what she was made of. The loud “pop” was quick and effective. Her tube had sprung a leak and it would be deflated in no time. I did the boy at the dyke thingy for as long as I could. We rode down together, me with my finger jammed into the hole and gripping the surrounding material as tightly as I could. We managed to make it to the next run of shallows, where we could all stop to assess the damage. It was done! A little rearranging of bodies, tubes and beer coolers later, and Peb’s had a tube to complete the trip. What a blast it was too! Oh and I’m not exactly sure who’s idea it was to hand Carson the super-soaker water gun? But I’m sure Suzy_Q would like to have a word with you outside, for making that call! With the exception of one stoopid little pointy stick, (obviously Engineered into position for maximum destruction) that was three hours of pure heaven.

German Engineers – 1
Bam-Bam – 2

The night was spent chatting about old times, looking forward to new times and just basically doing what the six of us do best, just enjoying each others company. There was a record set at dinner too I believe. I managed to be the only one to get all the way through not one, BUT TWO mini-Donk-eh made super burgers. I’ll be honest with you now guy’s, getting that last bite down was a lot tougher than it looked. I’ve eaten ½ a Cow like that before of course, but not after all of the afternoon munchies and beer and munchies and beer and oh…. did I mention beer? We ended the night around an awesome campfire with some great conversation and a wide variety of alcoholic beverages. Good times. Hell! There was even a brief ‘teenage girls’ siting at the fire, as Marshmallows and spider-dogs seemed to find their way onto skewers for roasting. Those spider dogs looked amazing too. If I wasn’t still attempting to digest the ½ a Cow from earlier on in the evening, I would’ve loved to make myself one of them for sure. I’m not exactly positive who showed mini-Donk-eh how to Engineer those monstrous and delicious Hamburgers we wolfed down at Dinner. But as I was missing out on the spider-dogs by the fire….. I had a pretty good idea!

German Engineers – 2
Bam-Bam – 2

Camping returned to normal at around 3:00am. Sunday morning. Rain, thunder and lighting, all did their best in creating a much more familiar atmosphere for yours truly. It came down in buckets and slowly faded to a drizzle, all the while soaking everything we’d brought with us for the trip. The unexpected 3:00am. rain, is perfectly engineered for those that basically pass out around the fire. Leaving all of their possessions out to fend for themselves against the elements. We were nine drowned campers, (now known as “Dampers” I believe) and we needed to pack up all our wet gear and head home. Once home, it would all have to be set up again or hung out to dry, meaning Pebbles was about to “help” me once again! Actually, after getting my helmet and ‘cup’ on for protection, the damn tent went up pretty easy the second time around. I’m not sure if it was the daylight, the lack of Beer or just because it was the second time I put it up. But maybe, just maybe….. Those crafty German Engineers are on to something there.

German Engineers – 3
Bam-Bam – 2

Thanks gang!
I know we say it all the time, but Peb’s and I honestly can’t think of four others, (well five including mini-Donk-eh! And I guess it should be seven, since 'technically, the teen-monsters were on the trip as well) that we’d ever want to have spent this camping trip with. You’re the best!

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


Camping's rigged....

Spent the weekend camping it up, TuckFard style. I warned them about my perfect record of 38 for 38 rainy camping trips, but no one listened and we all headed out slightly Southwest for some fun. The group consisted of myself and Peb’s, brudder Carson and Suzy_Q, DonKaaa and Queen_K and the growing ever more increasingly beautiful, mini-DonK-eh. There were two girls that got out of the truck with the Carson’s, but I can’t say they were camping with us. I think we saw them get out of the truck on Friday and then, we saw them pack their tent on Sunday as well. What they did between those two periods in time is obviously a mystery meant to baffle all of mankind for an eternity. Or to put it in the correct vernacular for the times, “Adults suck!”

Good times !

True to my outstanding, ( and did I mention PERFECT ?) record for precipitous participation in any camping related experience, it was on the drive there with the park a mere 20 minutes away that “camping” like me really began. Something along the lines of a class 5 Hurricane decided to drop right on top of our little caravan of vehicles. Sideways rain, wind gusts of up to 60 mph. and the odd tree whipping between a couple of the cars for good measure, made me finally settle in for what is the camping like Bam-Bam experience. I was honestly waiting for Peb’s to put on her best Helen Hunt impression and announce “Cow!” as we drove through the last little section of dairy country farmland. Not quite as quick as it arrived, the storm eventually made its way off into the horizon. Leaving no marks of it’s presence at all, unless you count the downed trees and all of the new fishing ponds, where campsites once used to flourish with activity.

Now it’s dark, soaking wet AND…. I have a brand new tent to put up on one of the few remaining islands that somehow managed to survive the recent and instant creation of, the 6th. Great Lake. Since he was pretty much the sole reason I was on this trip and he was also the first to actually make the discovery, I aptly named this new creation “Lake Donkey”….. after Carson.

Setting up a new tent can sometimes be a bit of a challenge, but the basics are pretty much the same no matter what brand or style you’ve managed to pick out for yourself. I happen to be a fan of the “Dome,” version of outdoor shelters. For no real reason other than there’s no “peak,” atop the dome tents like most of the other styles all seem to have. When you constantly camp in a state of monsoon like me, you learn quickly that the peak is the weakest part of any tent. I think it’s designed that way to enhance the wet campers weekend experience. Nothing say’s wet camping like that steady drip from the peak of a tent, dropping right down into the center of the tent itself where of course, is the only possible place to set up a bed for oneself in the space provided. Ah the memories of good times passed! We’ll have to save those for another day however. I had a tent to put up for the first time, in the dark, on the least amount of water I can find and finally, with help from my darling wife, Pebbles. What were my initial thoughts about how this was all going to go you ask?

Camping’s rigged!

I managed to get the last pole for the tent up into the last available sleeve crossing the frame of the dome, right after that last bit of “help” I received, made sure that this pole was also included in the fun of bouncing or smacking off one of my body parts for good measure. I didn’t have my reading glasses with me and I’m not much of an instruction reader to be honest, but since it was Peb’s holding the reading material and also supplying me with a new bruise or welt with every single pole delivery, ‘hitting the builder of the dome with everything humanly possible,’ surely had to be in there someplace! She takes direction very well and usually follows it, to the letter. With the tent all set up and only about a quarter of it actually floating out into Lake Donkey, I took the time to apply all of the bandages, creams and ointments specific to each individual remnant of “help,” I’d received during assembly. It was at that point that I’d realized I’d be saving a little bit of cash on the old bug spray this weekend. Since hardly any of my actual skin could be exposed to the environment.

Thanks for the help sweetie.

For some strange reason and in a remarkable turn of events like the world has not seen for nigh on four decades, the rain stopped. At first there was the obvious confusion and some even started to actually panic. There was, ( as there usually is ) a calming voice and it seemed to be doing the job, as most returned to some form of normalcy and managed to ignore the lack of 100% humidity accompanied by a bunch of good old H2O. There was just air, no water. It was a truly incredible moment and if I’m not mistaken, I think mini-DonK-eh was actually of sound enough mind to capture it on film and record this once in a lifetime experience forever.

Air only, no rain! What a concept for camping.

To be continued…….

My sincerest thanks for dropping by….