Frantic Friday : The Dr. Bammer Edition....(NSFW)

There's really two key points to this weeks Frantic Friday. Firstly, everybody seems to be getting into the business of advice for the lovelorn. I figure if we put the second point together with that, the second point being Bloggers marry up, we could come up with today's theme and get all Dr. Bammer on your azzes!

So like almost every other Frantic Frantic, this one was put together to celebrate :

Because let's face it, we can't all be like Waffles and bury our heads deep into a game of :

Smart guys will always consider the women's wants and needs. Having a happy women, is the real key to :

So today let's focus on tips that'll help all you single azz clowns out there, get a little closer to the woman of your dreams. Of course, these tips can also be used to assist you in moving up a level as well! Because we here in Bedrock really want to see you succeed and the start to that entire process, is getting a women that you truly don't deserve!

When you're considering making a move on one of these fine ladies, take the time to do a little :

Be nice! Tell her how great she looks in that colour of :

Take the time to let her know that you've noticed how soft her skin is, since she's been getting those :

treatments at the spa.

Try and be extra patient while she goes through all of her :

And for crying out loud, always consider your :

and be very aware of your :

For Pete's sake whatever you do, do NOT show up at her place for a date, wearing one of your favorite :

No matter how clean it looks and smells, they just aren't getting you anywhere with the real ladies out there.

Now some very serious things that you will need to avoid at all cost while you're with such a fine specimen, are as follows :

1) Guys PLEASE! DO NOT keep staring at her :

2) Even worse! DO NOT be drooling over and oggling at another women's :

3) When you're with the women you want to be with, there is no reason what so ever, to be checking out all the other women's :


Oh, and if you're all full of :

and shit, 'cause you think you're "this close" to :

the best advice I can give you is, to slow down just a little speed racer! Chicks may dig that mad style of yours, darting all over the place, getting your groove on and crap! But you've moved up a level or two here, remember! You're the Big Dog now and you're running with the prize of the litter if you're doing everything correctly.

Take a little time to show her you care dude! Maybe make her a nice :

You know, this is a key time for you with a very special lady. Make sure to avoid going all :

on her now. Don't go getting all crazy and shit man! If she's worth it to you, take the time to do it right! It'll be SO worth it in the end!

But remember the other extreme to this as well! Make sure that you are not doing :

NOTHING and I mean NOTHING tells a women that you are not worth any effort on her part, like showing no effort yourself. If you don't make the effort to be special to her trust me, she'd rather stay home and watch the :

than spend another minute with you.

Now of course all of these tips and tricks are designed to help you keep the Blogger tradition of marrying up alive and well. So you only need to focus on all of them, if the one you're after or with, could potentially become :

So be focussed and clear on what it is you're actually after!

If your just hanging around with the boy's having a pint and trying to avoid all the :

Or maybe you were just playing a little :

when you were lucky enough to run into a pack of :

all bets are off dude!

Grab one of them beyatches and throw her up :

She's DRUNK dude! Talk her into something! Remind her about all that talk she was doing about some :

and bringing her :

friend up to the room.

My man it's your duty as a guy, to uphold the time honoured tradition of taking advantage of a drunk chick! Get'er done! She's bombed! you do not need all of the little :

and running around showing off your cute :


She's wasted AND wants you! Go ahead and tap that :

if you want to. She'll love it!

Nothing good can come from getting it all backwards either, so study!

Well, I hope this has helped somebody out there. I do like to try and do my bit for the Blogosphere when I can. For now though, I think if you work on getting all of the little things mentioned here done correctly, you'll stand a pretty good chance of marrying up. And that's what this is all supposed to be about right!

There's one more little thing I did want to share with you my dear readers. I'm really not supposed to let the cat out of the bag just yet, but I think you're all so special, I just can't contain myself any longer.

I'm working on a little project that is a follow up to something that went terribly wrong a while back. I think it's really important to right a wrong and trust me, this thing was a serious and down right scary wrong!

So how am I going to fix it you ask.


Have a great weekend everyone!

Aparently....... these things are a hit!
If you like what you see, tell your friends that I do this every single Friday.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....

For the good of the many....

Content Warning!
This will make almost no sense at all to anyone.
For the most part, it's not supposed to.

For some asking why though, it's hopefully an answer.

I'm surrendering my silence to the questions, despite the fact that I do not expect anyone to actually understand my perspective. It won't be the first time that I've seen things differently than others on this great big flying rock! I don't expect it will be the last either! The choice to see my take on things or go another route, has always been a decision that anyone can make for themselves. I would not only never want to change that, but I admire us so very much as humans, for just that very ability.

Although I'm not what you would call a "pure" Trekkie, I always saw the tolerance, peace and faith in mankind message, that Eugene was trying to put out there. And an admirable attempt it was too!

But there is that one line! The one that shall always remain true, no matter the circumstance or situation it manages to arise in.

"The good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one."

In my opinion when you are making almost any decision, this should pretty much factor into your prime directive at the time. Will your actions affect more than just your own environment? Will anything else change, because of what you do? Will the change be for the betterment of you the one, or will the change somehow benefit more, as in the many?

While my decision to stand back and out of the way may seem stupid and trivial to some, it can also be considered the smartest approach to a tough situation to others. I think it's clear that our perspective on the situation, can be affected by our hearts first. Leading our minds to consider no other options, no matter the who, what, where, when or why of the situation at hand. We're really a strange breed in that respect. Natural instinct is often replaced by emotions such as anger, love, acceptance, optimism and of course, contentment and contempt.

Taking emotion out of a decision is not just difficult, it's damn near impossible! But it's not totally impossible and that's the difference here. I feel I was able to put aside feelings and judge the situation for what it actually was, and that's bad! Not the ability silly! The situation.

No matter what we try to do, the facts will always remain the same. Oil & Vinegar will just never really mix all that well. Sure it looks good as a balsamic blend or immediately after a good shake, but eventually we all know what's going to happen don't we? It's going to break down and become two distinct and separate entities. Not through any fault of the oil or the vinegar of course, but from us trying to force the two diametrically opposed ingredients together, over and over again.

What I become in certain situations, is simply not me. At least, not the me I want you to be around. Definitely, not the me that I want to be!

So the argument I have to constantly have with myself is quite clear. Do I wish to continue to show you that side of me, all the while being miserable myself? Or is it simply better for the one and the many, to have the one decide to stay clear of the situation?

Listen, I don't like being miserable and since you know me so well, it has to say something to know that I'm less miserable without the joy of your constant companionship, than I am being the guy in that situation.

If it doesn't....... then the point is lost on you, and I can't really do anything about that unfortunately.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....

A tale of two mookies....

Mookie #1, The Plan = I not only sign up for a game that starts well past my normal bedtime, (since I get out of that bed at 4:30am every day of the week) but I drag brudder Chako into the fray by offering him a last longer side bet. "This is going to be a hoot!" literally came out of my mouth.

Mookie #2, The Actual = I play good Poker for an hour and a bit, trying the entire time to enjoy the company at my table and say a quick 'hey' to those friends that are at some other tables as well.

Mookie #1, The Plan = I'm fortunate enough to have a great bottle of Scotch available to me, so I can enjoy my time with my good friends.

Mookie #2, The Actual = No amount of Scotch, can make up for an asshole.

Mookie #1, The Plan = Enjoy the evening! As mookies come far too infrequent here in Bedrock, due to the, "start time" for both of us.

Mookie #2, The Actual = Eventual second place finisher VBPro7, might just be the biggest asshole I've been lucky enough to have never met! Forget getting me off of my game! I couldn't wait to get out of the game.

Rather than enjoy the game and the Scotch, I shipped my chips to a friend, shipped my lost bet to The Doc and then, I called it a night.

In all honesty, there's really nothing like an asshole of epic or VBPro7 proportion, to make it well worth the entry fee, the lost wager and the lost sleep.

What a great night!

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


Let's get it started in here....

After working on a few leaks in my game I'd mentioned a while back, I decided that I would take a shot at one of the 180 player MTT's on FullTilt. Definitely NOT one of my normal games. But I was wide awake and felt like I would be for some time, so why not give it a shot?

All I needed to do was, set myself a strategy on how to play the damn thing. My decision was pretty easy, I'll just play a little "snug." So I popped on the tunes, grabbed a frosty cold one and away we went.

After the first 62 hands, my stack and stats looked like this.

I think "snug" was a good word for it.

I found it very easy early on, to get paid for a couple of monster hands. The first 30% of the players seemed quite willing to stack off with anything related to TPTK, no matter how the board looked or how the hand was played. So a slow played flopped boat and a check-raise all-in when the board four flushed, managed to get me a few chips from an un-improved Big Slick who'd flopped his second Ace. Nice ! Needless to say that with play like that, 60% of the field was gone by first break.

The second hour saw a mix of play. Some of the players were obviously the same types as earlier in the game. They must have either gotten lucky on a hand against someones flopped nuts, or they were part of some Donk on Donk violence and managed to come out on top. These players seemed to have the vast majority of the chips. Goal #1 would be, to get me some of those chips! The direct opposite of these players, was a group that obviously felt the same way I did. They would also be fighting for some chips from the, "I can draw to anything" crowd.

I think the shot of my stack and stats here after 146 hands, shows that the "snug" nit that I was being was still paying off.

Seeing only 15% of the flops made for some incredibly boring poker to be honest, but I spent an awful lot of that time watching the others. I did love winning 100% of my showdowns however, as no matter how I played or what the board managed to come up with, I could still say that I was holding the nuts and I was going to get paid. Although that was only in six hands to this point, it was a pretty incredible feeling!

The really disappointing part up to that point, was the six hands I just had to let go after the river card came. A few of them cost me a fair amount of chips, as I was sure I was ahead and kept building "my" pot up at each chance. Only to see river cards change the dynamic of the hands as they played out and make my holdings appear to be minuscule by comparison to what could be out there. I got to see that I was 100% correct in my folds 3 out of the 6 times however, so I was pretty sure I did the right thing on the other half of them as well. The two players with all the chips at my table, KelsieO and 48Follower could not miss any draw. It was actually quite brutal a few of the times that they had to show down. In one hand, KelsieO had committed about half of his stack on a draw to the river, where he naturally hit of course, but was making the play all the way with nothing but a draw to gutter 2-outers and middle pairs that would win set over flopped set.

In the end, it was ultimately that style of play that ended my game as well. Play folded around to me in the SB and I had not played for some time. I open for a 3x raise from the small with the Jc-Kc. (who doesn't love crubs?) To no big surprise, I get the call from KelsieO. We see the flop of Ks-3d-Jh and KelsiO bets out pot. This does not worry me in the least, as this has been his MO for the 15 or so hands he has been at my table. I decide to re-pop it to 3x the pot, as I believe I am good here. My friend takes about three seconds to get all of his chips into the middle. I get mine all in as well and we are about to see who has what and more importantly, who has who!

My TOP2 is up against..... the Ad-10d. Stack in on another gutter? But having played NLHE for almost two years now, I knew enough to gather my things and get ready to turn the computer off. There was definitely a Queen coming. NOPE !! How about the six of diamonds and then the eight of diamonds for the runner-runner Flush my two and a half hours of great play to a 11th. place finish away! Sheeeeeesh !!!

On the bright side, what I've been doing with my newer NLHE strategy seems to be working for me right now. We'll just have to hang on for a bit and see how things go. Although I haven't gained back large amounts of the money spent learning the game over the last little bit, I have been getting paid AND... the goofs at Sharkdope took my little pet fish away as well. I guess getting paid, (even if only a little) in your last 9 games in a row, is good enough to drop the fish! And that's a pretty good start in my books.

Speaking of good starts, our Brit Blogger Boy Nick has a new Blog up and running called TwitterPoker. I was kinda' fond of his Hairy Gymnast page but, since his goal is to build a bankroll large enough to come over and see us here on the "other" continent, who am I to hold him back? :)

Another good, (dare I say great?) start was DonKaaa's introduction to the BBT4. I see a great second place result for him in Monday night's Riverchasers game!

Congrats Donnie! Nicely done indeed. Now can we get back to something really important? LIKE GOLF !!!! :)

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


Greg Gutfeld is a waste of flesh....

So some nobody said a few things about our Canadian Military, that might not have been in the best of light huh? Is this the idiot that couldn't hold a job at Maxim or Men's health Magazines, but holds the power of the 3:00am. time slot on the network famous for bringing an animated Gopher to one of arguably, the most popular Televised sports in the United States of America?

I got the right guy then right? Oh well. At least he apologised.


"he forwarded the message to a Fox publicist"

It's fuck-nuts like this ass-clown, that give Americans a bad name world wide. It's really a shame too. I have as many American friends as I have Canadian to be honest, and I can't believe any one of them would waste a moment of their time, watching, listening or reading anything that this waste of flesh has or will, ever have to say.

****And right off the bat before anyone that doesn't know me gets all jammed up, I am NOT taking a return shot at the US Military here. That is NOT how I roll! These are merely a few simple facts, that are constantly buried in American History. As a Canadian, I'm proud of what both of our Nations Military Forces continue to do to protect our way of life. Seeing them stand together to do it, always makes me that much more so.****

So listen here you piece of shit, dick-nosed nobody! Humour is based on truth. That's typically what makes it so funny. Just because your tired old routine using old jokes like 'aboot' and 'EH' aren't getting any laughs these days, does not give you the right to say anything demeaning about possibly, the most successful and supportive military force in modern history.

Let's take a look at a few facts and see if we can find any humour in them, shall we?

Do you know why The White House is white dick-wad? Do you know anything about an American Army invading York, (I better tell you that that's Toronto) and burning down non-military buildings such as Parliament buildings and the private warehouses that the mighty American military, had just finished looting? I didn't think so. Back in August of 1814, we took a British / Canadian Provinces military force of our own for a little trip.

How about a couple of really simple ones? Which should we do first? WWI or, WWII? Well, World War I does come first after all.

August 1914 - Canada as part of The United Kingdom, declares war on Germany.
April 1917 - Canadians win VIMY Ridge in four days. It had been fought over by others for nearly two years.
June 1917 - First American troops land in France.
December 7, 1917 - The United States declares war on Austria-Hungary.
November 1918 - WWI is over.

We stood for what we believed was right, for four full years. Standing by our compatriots and fighting where and when it needed to be done. America put 11 months into the effort, because of pressure from the Allies after The Battle of Cambrai. (A British attack that fails and the battle results in a stalemate)

In World War II, it went a little like this.

September 1939 - Canada declares war on Germany.
October 1940 - President Roosevelt, in the middle of an election campaign, promises not to send "our boys" to war, despite Liverpool England having been bombed for the 200th. time.
March 1941 - US initiates Lend Lease Act. "Allowing" Britain, China, and other allied nations to purchase military equipment and to defer payment until after the war.
August 1941 - After "the 18th. successful Major battle" by Canadian Forces of the 21 they had taken a full part in, The US announces an oil embargo against "aggressors."
October 1941 - Canadian Military estimates show a loss of 11,326 Canadian troops to date. The same day that the destroyer USS Kearney is torpedoed and damaged near Iceland, killing eleven sailors; they are the first American military casualties of the war.
December 7, 1941 - Japan bombs Pearl Harbor. Canada declares war on Japan.
December 8, 1941 - The United Kingdom and The United States declare war on Japan.
January 1942 - The first American troops land in Europe.

The rest is available in quality history books. Not the drivel offered up in the movie theaters.

I won't even bring up Korea or Vietnam. What a waste of life!

So that brings us to slightly more recent times huh?

Let's see. Operation Enduring Freedom was created on October 7, 2001. In January of 2002, the first in a long line of Canadian troops was on site and ready to assist our neighbour to the South. Seven long years and 116 fatalities later, we're not only still there by your Countries side, we hold strong and fast to several key strategical areas on the teams behalf..

Did you forget Mr. three-am funny guy, that our first four deaths in Afghanistan were from American fire? Maybe that was too long ago. How about the most recent four deaths that actually occurred a mere 3 days after your brilliant performance to nobody? Remember those four deaths asshole? Shouldn't be too hard should it? It was all over the 'real' news.

"Four Canadian Soldiers were killed while taking part in a massive operation to attack Taliban command centres and supply routes. Three other Canadian soldiers were wounded in the blast. American and British Soldiers were mostly un-injured, as the Canadian vehicles took it upon themselves to act as a shield for their protection."

I'll end it with this.

I'll just assume you have a massive ego and you don't give a crap about bad publicity, since it's better than the no publicity that you're surely used to. I also hear you're a blogger asswipe. Hence the title to this post. I hope by some miracle you're able to find this post. I'd really love to hear from you to discuss this further.

Since your not willing to stand behind our military forces, I'd dearly love to see you get in front of them right now.

Fuck you and the four assholes serving as a "panel" for discussion on news topics of the day, you ignorant and unappreciative piece of shit.

But as always,

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


A weekend at Barney's....

The good news is, jail time was never really in question at all. Unless of course you want to go all libertarian on my azz, and count the discussions at the bar with the hookers and the ride home in the cruiser. But you wouldn't hold any of that against a kid now, would you?

As I mentioned last week, Dad's got his best friend in Hospital after a massive stroke. With all that going on, I figured he could use some company for the weekend. So with that I wandered down to South Bedrock, for an afternoon and evening of comforting my old man. I could have kept on driving and went all the way South to see Al to be honest! As this became a lot closer to "Southern Comforting" than anything else.

Occasionally, I've been known to forget how it is that I come by my natural talent for alcohol consumption but, no worries!

One nearly empty bar at the house, six different bars in town, three unique bands, running in to five of his buddies and the ride home in the cruiser, all to give me a solid reminder this weekend from, "The Sponge!" Oh and one other thing came from all of this mess. One seriously weak and wounded liver, belonging to yours truly.

It's been.... well... NEVER .... since Dad and I tied one on like this and honestly, judging from the Sunday morning appearances of us both, it just might be a while before we try anything even remotely close to this again. One can hope!

The old man needed a bender so, a bender was had. Seriously good times from what I can remember. Great discussions, as we waltzed down memory lane. Remembering good times and honest discussions about the bad ones. Pulling up a few memories that had us both in stitches or, both saluting a lost friend over the passage of time. All in all like I said, great discussion with my old man. What I can't remember was, who's idea the 7:00pm Schnitzel stop was. THAT guy was a genius! I can't even begin to imagine pulling some of the crap we did over that intoxicating 13 hours, on a completely empty gut.

Dad's one of the last of his core group and the realization of his own mortality, hit him pretty hard when Bob went down last Monday. We had a pretty good discussion about that too, as Dad started to realize that this was just something else that we had in common. You see, Dad and I are closer now than we ever have been but we're still not that close. Something that this weekend may just help to get us through. The look on his face as he came to terms with the fact that I too have gone through all of this, spoke a thousand words of care to me, even though he actually said nothing at all at the time. We would talk about it later though and the rolls had reversed ever so slightly. It was Dad trying to make sure I didn't go down the dark and gloomy path, that is the loss of a friend.

"Celebrate the time you have, don't mourn the loss forever!" Barney said.

The realization that I could see in his eyes as he said it, was enough to tell me that the trip down was well worth it. My old man is going to be alright and I'm pretty sure, he's saying the same thing about me.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....