Well?...That was fun.....

Well ........... 39%

That's how many actually responded. Kinda sucks when I can't even get the guy from Madrid, looking for the "biggest donkey" or that guy from Antigua googling "Bam-Bam in Pebbles" to drop a comment!

This is definately going to be a monthly thing now. Mid-Month, every month! Watch for a YOU-YOU right here in Bedrock. Blogger first's? Hmmmmmm....

Lets let the BIG-DOG eat, shall we?

My thanks to Riggs, Fuel and the ZEEMster. My 13th. in the Riverchasers never, ever! felt so good.

Fuel, you can GooooooooooSwimmomGooooooo all you want.
Riggs buddy, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM might work once in a while too.
But you both have to admit. There's nothing going to take down a good solid
BAM-BAM-BAM !!!!!!


I'd like to thank each and everyone of you that par-tiss-a-pay-ted in the little YOU-YOU thing. Without you, Bedrock would be just someplace else, I could hang this old hat. (and I have plenty of places for that already!)

My sincerest thanks for dropping by.....


A Blogger first..... (I think?)

Everyone that knows me, (or anything about me) knows that I am the Anti-MeMe guy. It's not that I'm afraid of putting myself out there for everyone to see. I am who I am, and I can tell you that I am far from afraid to have someone criticize, hate, ridicule, like, lust or love me for the things that I say and do. I frankly write what I write here, to get things out in the open and have fun with where it takes me.

I honestly just don't get the whole MeMe thing. I don't post here to tell you about me. I know it happens by default but IMHO, that's what's supposed to happen. Why else would I throw my thoughts out for judgement in a public forum on purpose?

So I offer up what I think is at least a poker blogger first.

Welcome to the first, (that I know of) YOU-YOU !

The object of the game is simple.

We're looking for your Blogger PORN STAR screen name. Simply follow the only three rules that apply.

1) If you've made it this far.... You MUST play !
2) Your first name is the very first pet's name you can remember. (your's, someone elses it doesn't matter. As long as it's the first one you can ever remember hearing)
3) Your second name is the first street name you can remember living on.

I will update as often as possible. Just drop your official YOU-YOU Porn Star stage name in the comments.

Have fun with this and tell your freinds to drop by and do the same. I'd so much rather learn about YOU-YOU, than discuss anything at all about MeMe.

So without further adou, here are the official Blogger Porn Stars....

Bam-Bam = Muffin Service
Pebbles = Duffy Casandra
Katitude = Petunia Highland
Baaad Puppy = George Putnam
The lovely Mrs. Baaad Puppy = Puppy River.
JJOK = Teddy Walden
JJOK's Q's = Abby West
The Wife = Queenie Starks
Tan = Jinga Manor
Yummy-Mommy = Lady Marblehead
Schaubs = Rocky Daniels
DRIZZ = Snoop 69th.
Nutzy = Missy Cook or Buffy Cook
My man "Presto" = Sammy East
Not-so-MINI-Peb's = Cleo Crawford ( no more reading here! lol )
Waffles = Charlie Eggmont
Brudder Carson = Fred PleasantView
A Man called Doc = Frisky Swenson
The one that will be RaisingCayne = Daisy Skookumchuck
I can't wait to hold her in my arms IG = Pepe Fabiano
I will have a Scotch with Riggs = Train Gulph
Aye, and the Riggs lasses? = Maddy Wellington's
The most Rapid of Porn Stars = Bernie Yulan
TwoBlackAces,(going for bonus points Obv) = Bam-Bam Corona
The F-Train = Ugly Ruby (best pet name EVER ! Hand's down so far)
The Switch-Hitting Mr. B = Brandy Beverley
Jonny 2 Pair = McTavish Ballantyne
Mr. 6x himself surflexus = Happy Cherokee
The guy I stay up too late Wednesday night for = Goldy Bagdad
An 'almost' daily snakster = Sam Stanbridge
Some poker playin' cook = Duke Hampshire
The Banner & The Banter = Birthday Northwestern
23Skidoo the Ritzy, (and flexible!) = Harriet Gable Gate Turn
My FAV lil'diff'yellow-a-blogger = Fluffy Seventh
Da' ZEEMster = Irving Evergreen
A sleepy Joanada = Jasmine Marlyn
BLAARGH = Heather Highland

My sincerest thanks for dropping by..... AND PARTICIPATING !!!!!!!!!!!!


Because inquiring bloggers, want to know....

After a great deal of contemplation and some serious thought on the matter, I decided to do a post on The FullTilt RNG. This was no easy task. There was reading to do. Lots and lots of reading!

Of all of the stories out there, one was this beauty by "The LongShot." Then switching over to Omaha, I checked out these two from Snakster and Chad. There are others, DOZENS of them! If you read any of my friends over to the right there, you're likely to see several references to the RNG on a daily basis. Full boats being busted by rivered Quads. The ever popular flopped wheel getting crushed to a rivered straight to the 6. My personal favorite in the STUD games, the case card suck out! It all leads to Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... and it goes on and on.
As for Chad and Snakster, with STUD as my game and RAZZ being of interest, I can tell you I am dealt wrapped up Kings in RAZZ, way more times than I am in STUD. Ask Carson, he knows this to be true.

Well like I said, after much deliberation and some serious thought into the possible re-percussions, (should this secret get out) I am going to go ahead with a post about the truth behind the Fulltilt RNG. Surely I'll be damned in Hell for letting this little kitty out of the bag, but I say I was headed there most likely anyways. Years as a degenerate gambler, a Scotch fetish that is apparently insatiable and pre-marital sex with Pebbles probably sealed my fate, way ahead of this little news scoop.

The secret is simple. Rob, Neil and Gary. That's it!

To think that the RNG is some super computer that randomly generates numbers to be applied to the appropriate hand at the appropriate time is well, naive at best. It's farcical actually. I mean grow up kids! A super computer? It would take nothing for someone else to come up with an un-detectable super computer of their own to defeat the system completely. I mean really????

Nope, it's a way simpler than that. In a little room tucked deep in the bowels of a FullTilt office somewhere, sit Rob, Neil and Gary. Each of them taking turns at a hand in play and deciding the ultimate fate of those of us who dare try and play the game. How else can you explain the increase of severity of the beats. First of all, they have annual reviews like everyone else. They have to out-do each other! Competition amongst co-workers has long been a successful business strategy for upper management. Secondly, how do you explain that the worst of all of the suck-outs happen regularly on the Thursday through Sunday run? Bet you can't, can you? Of course not. Not with the super-computer theory you hold so dear. Think about it! Surely with the cash FullTilts upper management makes on us every week, they can afford to slip out early on a Friday to get the weekend started on the right foot. They check in on things, bark some commands and off they go for a quick 18 holes with the others from the office.

I can see it now.

Neil : "Hey Rob?"
Rob : "Sup Neil?"
Neil : "That's it. The last of them just left the underground parking."
Gary : "You sure?"
Rob : "Yeah. Remember a couple weeks ago when that graphics guy was still here?"
Neil : "No way guy's. Honest! I just saw each one leave."
Gary : "So that's where you were! I had to let this guy over here catch Quads!"
Neil : "Nice! Nothing better than that in Omaha."
Gary : "It was in NLHE you Jack Ace!"
Neil : "Oh shit! Sorry man. I figured if I saw them all leave for the day, we could get to these a little faster." 'Psssst......Psssst.....Psssst.' "Here you go boy's."
Rob : "Thanks man. Aaaaaaaaaah, I've been thinking about this beer all day."
Neil : "Me too and don't worry, We've got enough for the whole weekend."
Gary : "Here. Here's the Vodka, Gin and RedBulls."

Is this all starting to make more sense to everyone now? Give it some serious thought. A room in the control of three very talented computer geeks, getting paid to make us lose, all the while having knowledge of the game of poker and getting shit-faced over the weekend. Seriously, give it some thought and maybe partake in a beverage yourself. I've found as I write this, it all gets much clearer as I put myself a little closer to what their mindset would be.

About at the end of beer #1, Aces are getting cracked on a regular basis around the world. As they start beer #2, they realize that they'd better turn on "hand-tracker," for without evidence of their superior mastery of all things bad-beatable, they will surely get the same Turkey for Christmas and 3% pay increase this year, as the losers out there in the office counting FTP's and pricing stress balls. As they near the end of beer #2, they are starting to go on full tilt, (where'd you THINK it got its name from?) about nothing but a lousy 14lb. Turkey as a Christmas bonus last year. This has them right where they need to be to succeed. In control of our destiny, while pissed at the company and getting pissed on the booze.

Neil : "Hey! Where the hell's that Vodka?"

Ahhhhh mixing alcohol 101 has started to kick in. You know the drill, anger and hostility has started to vent its way out of the system, happy, giggly, stupid, funny guy is starting to come out and play. It's always at about this point of the night, just as they realize that they have a Vodka in one hand and a beer in the other, they also notice some incredible pots being dragged in by players. This is their cue to get back on the job. As these slightly high and happy pranksters return to work, you'll start to see the "funny" beats as they like to call them.

Hole Cards
Bum 1 = 3s-7s
Bum 2 = As-Ks
Bum 1 = calls
Bum 2 = checks
Flop = 4s-6s-5c
Bum 1 = checks
Bum 2 = bets $400
Bum 1 = has 15 secs. to act
Bum 1 = Raises to $1200
Bum 2 = has 15 secs. to act
Bum 2 = calls
Turn = 9s
Bum 1 = Checks
Bum 2 = has 15 secs. to act
Bum 2 bets $2890 and is all in
Bum 1 = has 15 secs. to act
Bum 1 = has requested time
Bum 1 = bets $2875 and is all-in
Dealer = Un-called bet of $15 returned to Bum 2.
Bum 2 = Shows As-Ks for a flush A high
Bum 1 = Shows 3s-7s for a flush 9 high
River = 5s
Bum 2 = shows As-Ks for a flush A high
Bum 1 = Shows 3s-7s for a straight flush 7 high
Dealer History =
Bum 2 = shows As-Ks for a flush A high. Loses and has $15 left
Bum 1 = Shows 3s-7s for a straight flush 7 high and wins the pot of millions!
Dealer = Three guys in a small room are ROTFL while spilling beers and Vodka.

(This is why you never turn off dealer chat!)

Now having spilt alcohol all over everything from their little escapades, they need to get busy cleaning up. That is when you should too. While they are distracted by the beer in the keyboard, make plays with good cards. Watch what happens! They'll hold almost every time. This is a very short window though so attack at will if you're holding the nuts. But be forewarned, they do not do a great job of cleaning up, (read drunk men) and it won't last long.

Later on in the evening, you can always tell when it's time to relieve themselves of the liquid intake. It starts with you being able to hold on or get there in a race or two. Obviously, they have figured that if they take these breaks one at a time, nothing too bad will happen. Then suddenly, you'll be ahead and stay ahead in a race where one or more opponents are all-in. This is when the "beer-pressure" is greater or equal too the "fear-pressure." At least two of them are out of the room at the same time. Again, this is a short window of opportunity for you the player. Get your chips in when they're good. You have a reasonable chance, (call it 90-10) that your A-A will out run that K-K you are up against. Should you be caught by the last of the three guy's in the room, who is pissed that the others are taking so long and actually and literally pissed to the gills and wants to lighten the load. All I can say is, put yourself in his shoes. What would you do?

Everything from this point forward, is just a gamble. Since they are now pissed at each other, pissed at the Turkey for Christmas, pissed at the company for such a crap raise, pissed at the managers who all went to the fuckin' Country Club at noon today and 100%, with no shadow of a doubt, pissed to the gills and falling down drunk, if you choose to play on-line now, I say good luck! This is the real reason they call it gambling.

Now that you know that it's not some super computer at all, and in fact just three guys having a good time at work and trying to make ends meet to support their families, doesn't it make you feel like you can take that next bad beat, just a little bit better?

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


A weekend away..... from posting!

I have several posts in the works that I totally planned on getting done over the weekend. But a funny thing happened on the way to writing! Actual poker stuck it's nose into my business, so I decided to show it who was boss.

Friday's Therapy™ was an absoloute scream! I love the Therapy™ game and have so much fun every single Friday night I play. What made this one special was, one of my favorite invisibles joined in for the fun. I've read Riggstad since day two of posting with brudder Carson over at TuckFards. I had no idea at that time, that Riggs is buddies with Al. Knowing that AlcanHang with Riggs, means I can't wait to actually meet the man in just under two weeks.

Under the influence of a full on and total brain cramp, I called Riggs all-in with pocket rockets. I know, I know! WTF was I thinking? It's the Donkament after all. What in the hell did I expect to happen? The chat after I lost that hand was Ef'n hilarious! From Kat and Riggs asking if I'd lost my mind, to the TuckFard group asking why I was playing rag-rag. I'll have you all know, I spilt some damn fine 18 yr. old Scotch due to laughing fits that gave me those epileptic giggles from hell. I thank you all for the fun.

I then could not get a raiser in the Donkement with this hand. In a typical game on Friday, this board would have missed 3/4 of the players at the table and called for at least five over bets.

I busted out 5th when DonKaaaa would not let his 9-9 hand go, while up against my A-Q. Seems only fitting that the 9's kicked my a s s on the night.

Friday night I went to work to build the bankroll up a tick or two. It worked out just fine. I managed to pay for the re-buy's and entry into the Donkament and ended up with an extra bit of profit for my efforts.

Saturday was TuckFard night one, of our new season. 13 Tuck's made it out for the first night and I managed to be Gigli with a "Presto" gone "Gin." Carson ran runner-runner on me for the flush and IS'n"WTASR.
( In Nascar'ease... I sit and watch the All-Star race)

Pebbles completed our Banky and Yummy-Mommy impersonation, by taking the game down for our classic worst and first finishes. I hoisted a glass in the general direction of our good friends.

We came home and I had that, "gonna' kick some a s s" feeling going on. So I logged in and went back to work. I managed to add three outright wins in two 18 player games and one 9 player SnG. Add those to a semi-bad-beat second place cash in a 45 player SnG, when I had a set vs. set confrontation where my K-K-K was in good against my opponent's 10-10-10. With a board of K-10-3, the turn brought him the case 10 after we managed to get all the chips into the middle. I had him outchipped by exactly one BB and on this night, these chips and my chair were not good enough to make any type of a come-back.

Pebbles then went to work herself this morning, taking three SnG wins in a row to add to her great pokery weekend. All while I tried to figure out if I remembered how to sleep. 3 solid hours! Wooooooot me ! It's been a long time coming.

This afternoon, it was Team TuckFard Sunday afternoon poker at the Hall. I know Nutzy had a rough game and had busted quite a bit earlier than usual for his solid game. I was next out, with a third place finish. I couldn't catch hands that I decided to play and had a huge issue with finding cards to play for some time. Then after raising about 28% of my stack, WPTChamp decided to push all-in. I had to make a decision. I was in third place and had no opportunity for the win, based on the stack size of Jay-33. He was a monster stack compared to the two of us. I held 8-8 and the only reasonable chance I had to improve my odds of winning in this "shoot-out" like format, was to win a race. I talked it out with myself, (sorry to the boys!) I decided that this was my opportunity to do so. WPTChamp flipped up pocket 10's and it was a race I could live with. Nothing changed after the board was layed out and I was done in third. The good news was, both Pebbles and DonKaaa were heads up and Brudder Carson was sitting at his table and was in a 3-handed game. The worst we could do for the day was two 3rds. and two 2nds. That's some points that look really good for our current points lead in this deal. And that is a good thing when the first place team all go to Vegas for free.

Then Pebbles did something I don't think, (HELL!) I know I've never seen her do before. Head's up, she dropped the hammer hard and made 7 raises or re-raises on her opponent in a row. It was great to see such an aggressive side to her game. This play brought her back to about even stacks in the game. I was asked by both ladies if I would mind dealing the game for them. I obliged and seemed to bring my bad run of cards along with me. It took a while for them to hit a hand at the same time. Then even when they did, a turn card or River would come along to make an obvious hand out of one of their holdings. Then in Peb's BB, "Rose" simply limped into the pot. Pebbles confidently sat and did her best impression of Doyle working out what to do next. "Mrs. Brunson" considered her options and decided that putting herself all-in, was the way to go. Rose called instantly and the cards were opened up.

Rose = Ac-8s
Pebbles = 10s-2c

BRUNSON indeed !

Once I stopped laughing and telling everyone to come and see what my wife had just done, (actually and in a really weird way PROUD of the move) I dealt crap that did not help her out of the mess she was in.

We had to take off shortly after and didn't get to see brudder Carson's win, or DonKaaa's second place finish. Sorry we couldn't be there for support guy's, but great job!

Now I'll get going on completing those post's that I had started and intended to finish earlier on in the weekend. Hopefully, they'll be worth the read for someone out there.

My sincerest thanks for stopping by....