Frantic Friday : The Victoria's 'real' Secret Edition.... (NSFW?)

The month of May brings about the first of the 'real' long weekends here in Bedrock. Where it's known as Memorial Day for my friends to the South. up here we celebrate Victoria Day. Things seem all messed up this year, as the holiday will not actually be falling on Monday May the 24th. as it seems that it should. Canadians love to call it the May "Two-Four" weekend. Must be a Beer thing! Were are proud Canadians after all.

Queen Victoria has always been one of my personal favorites as far as royalty goes. I've studied just about everything that there is to study about her. There are so many missconceptions and ommisions of information about her lifestyle and activities, if one went purely on the data provided, one could find themselves missing out on a lot!

For example, pictures.

What you don't know and the secret that the Royal Family has managed to be able to keep to themeselves over all of these many, many years is, THAT IS NOT Queen Victoria!

In the interest of National Security and the safety of Queen Victoria herself during her reign, there was an eleborate scheme presented to the general public to convince them that this was the figure head of the Queen. Still to this day, that stand-ins profile is more famous and on more money around The Commonwealth countries, than almost anyone else. The current Queen Elizebeth, now holds that distinction. But that's a story for another day.

In my studies into the real Victoria, I have uncovered some mind bending and history altering information about the old girl! Starting with, she wasn't "OLD" at all! In a premiere of sorts, here is the first ever shot of the actual Queen victoria.

Sorry about the B & W photo! It was all that was available at the time.

And so now you all know the real truth behind, Victoria's Secret!

But that's not all I've uncovered in my little foray into the Royals. Oh no! Victoria herself was the creation and secret of The Royals and The British Government. But as I dug deeper and deeper into the background of the Lady Victoria behind the title, I uncovered her most private and intriguing secrets one by one. Now each of Victoria's real Secrets are available to you my dear readers, and all is as it should be once again. I will never leave a single stone unturned, in order to provide you with the truth behind the hot topics that you really want to know about.

So with no further delay I present to you, the real story behind Victoria's Secrets.

The first of Vick's secrets in this long and oft' astonishing journey is, that she was way more than the figure head that she has always been perceived to have been. No! Our Vick was an educated and intelligent young women. Her abilities to out think and out wit many of her opponents in her favorite game Chess, are riddled through the writings of her astonished competitors.

So she was a smart little tart that seemed to have looks that could kill as well. A very dangerous combination if you ask me!

To add to her mystique, there seems to have been just enough talk and questioning during her early reign as Queen, to support the fact that she may have been at least bi-sexual for a fairly lengthy period of her life. Not that there's anything at all wrong with that, from the perspective of yours truly! As you all know, I Bam-Bam am also a lesbian! If you did not know that, consider me "outted." There was one shot where it is a little difficult to tell for certain if it's our Vick, but many Historians are indeed convinced enough to have brought it forward at this time.

It is your humble journalists opinion, that it matters not if that is or is not our Vick. What matters is that it was nothing if not a little wholesome and clean, harmless fun.

Those in the know worked many long and hard sleepless nights, trying to un-cover the truth about our Vick and her sexual preferences. Only to come up with more and more questions rather than any hard or conclusive evidence one way or another. But it was with the help of a good friend that works with Sony and their historic Colourization process, that this kid found the first real proof that has been found on the subject.

There is clearly no doubt what so ever, that that is the devilish grin and peircingly beautiful eyes, of our Victoria. Another one of Victoria's Secrets, bites the dust.

I loved how the Colourization thing worked out in the end so despite the few complainers to the contrary, we'll colourize the remainder of the pics for your enjoyment.

Now you may be saying to yourself, "does all this tie in somehow, to what I know as Victoria Secret?" and the answer is yes. Backround checks on the muckey-mucks high up within that organization, have been found to be totally connected to the earliest years of the royal family.

You see, it seems Victoria was quite the litle vixen in her youth. She was apparently known to have had an entire room full of her favourite things.

In the case of our Victoria it wasn't what was apparent on the outside that mattered, but the hidden gems on the inside that did! Victoria was addicted to her lingerie.

She had some for every occasion and swore by it as a "feel good" way to go through life.

Her favorites included Christmas time, where she just loved to dress up like Mrs. Claus.

Sometimes however, our Vick found it way more fun to be one of the presents that was about to be unwrapped!

Another of Victoria's Secrets that ties into all this, is the fact that she was a real bookworm too. Yes, not much made our Vicky happier than just lying around and settling in to a good book. Of course, she'd always be dressed appropriately at the time.

Another little known fact about Queen Victoria was, she never did find the appropriate lingerie for one very special love of hers. The poor girl never had anything proper to wear, when she just wanted to listen to a little music.

It obviously didn't stop our little sweetheart from enjoying a good tune now and again. But she was not as happy as those around her, when the music bug actually hit.

This secret may come as a pretty big surprise to some, considering the location and climate of England. Queen Victoria was fanatical about.... The Beach!

She could be found down by he water everytime the opportunity presented itself. No matter how cold the water or air, our Vicky filled out her bathing suit and strolled happily along the shorelines.

These last two may come as even more of a shock to the true die-hard Queen Victoria fans. First, it is widely acknowledged that Victoria never did set foot on Canadian soil. Now that may be true in principal I guess, but I've uncovered evidence to the contrary that has to at least open the discussion for debate one more time. You see, I found a shot of our Vick taking a stroll during one of our glorious Canadian Winters.

She may not "technically" be touching her foot to our soil, but I'd say it is safe to consider, that she has been "on" Canadian soil in one form or another.

Which leads us to the last of Victoria's Secrets that I've dug up over the years. We know she was smart and we know that the figure head used in no way did any justice to the real beauty, that was our Queen Vicky. Our girl was stunning and she had what has to be considered, one of the largest and also sexiest lingerie collections ever recorded on this planet. But did you also know, our vicky was far from above getting her hands, (and whatever else for that matter) dirty if the job demanded it? I didn't think so!

It wasn't until I started snooping around in the Canadian Historical Societies sub-files, that I found out how this had to be true. In the bowels of the Library under the heading "Coal Disasters and not-so-much," I found a startling picture of our Queen, helping out the boy's down in the mine. Prepare yourself, it's like no other picture you've ever seen of Queen Victoria before!

I did warn you!

That's all we have time for on this edition of Frantic Friday. Hopefully it's been as informative and educational for you the reader out there, as it was for me to uncover and put together.

I'm working on the sequel already as I try to get to the bottom of some information I found along the way, about this supposed "Sweets addiction" our current Queen Elizebeth has been reported to suffering from.

I'll also be looking into the possible "Bi" connection our Liz may or may not have, with the lovely Victoria. Although it's currently sluffed off as ambiguous at best, I see some real potential in delving into this picture just a little bit closer.

We do indeed know that this is our wonderful Elizebeth. But who is the young hottie in the background and is it just me, or is she not totally checking out Liz's butt? I'd even go as far as to say, possibly with some type of ooooooh I don't know.... recognition perhaps?

Happy weekend everyone and remember, there are no secrets on Frantic Fridays!

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....

1 comment:

DrChako said...

And, in yet another example of how we were separated at birth, I actually yelled outloud when I saw the pic of the two girls kissing. I had that exact picture taped to the inside of my locker in high school. Where did you find it?!