6/11/2009

So, what's wrong with me....

Move along right now if you wish. There'll be no Poker or Boob content here today I'm afraid. I just need to get some stuff out of my system.

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Although I can't begin to imagine the torment of burying your own child, I can tell you how deeply the pain sank into my very being, as I watched two of my loved ones have to experience exactly that yesterday.

Cousin Darrell was a fun and outgoing young man. I say young despite the fact that he had me covered in years, because Darrell was a true master of maintaining his inner-child. If you know me, that's really saying something!

Young Christina wasn't up to actually doing the eulogy that she had written for her Father, so she asked if the priest could possibly do it for her. It was as light and fun as a eulogy could be I guess, but to watch her face come to the realization that those moments will never occur again, hit home pretty hard with my Father and I.

Yeah Dad and I had a pretty amazing start to our life together and Lord knows the middle stages were about as rough as it can get between a Father and Son for certain. But it's the now we live in and the future we have to look forward to, that has us taking a better look at each other as we go along.

Why as humans we are so stupid and close minded, that it can take watching a Father bury his Son or a Daughter bury her Father, before we realize the love that exists between us is beyond me.

I study and try and Learn from Pebbles, Fred and Wilma and the rest of that gang, but even yesterday as I sat next to my own Father, I realized that all of those lessons hadn't transferred all that well, into our relationship as Father and Son.

WHY?

I know it stops at me, yet I didn't do anything about it.

WHY?

Peb's got us together after all of the tough years and I know we've made some great headway. Yet I still haven't, (or won't?) take everything I learn about being a loving and caring family from Peb's side, and make it happen on my own damn families side.

WHY?

Maybe this is a question I should ask out loud?
Maybe I should start with Dad.

Whether you're still here at this point or were smart enough to bail right at the start,

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....

6 comments:

Wes said...

Thanks for the post.

The NL Wife said...

Love you.

Memphis MOJO said...

Good questions.

Riggstad said...

I was never able to be a good father until I forgave, and asked for forgiveness, from my own.

Thankfully we're both too old to carry a grudge anymore. Forgiveness and understanding just seems like less work.

That's how it worked for us anyways.

GaryC said...

Hey bro,

I know it's been a long time since I commented, basically anywhere, but let me say this:

We are our father's sons. Always have been, always will be.

Take that first step, because if you don't, you will regret it later.

Just my 2 cents,

G

DrChako said...

Actions > Words.

Go!

-DrC