It's rare when the Poker room doesn't smell like death warmed over to me. There's always that same scent of dispair meets axe body spray, that makes me throw up a little in my mouth, as I first take it in. It's not all casino's that get me like this, it's just Rama.
I went with the intention of getting in the O/8 game. It's always been pretty easy to just walk right up and get a seat there. But to my surprise, I was #7 on the waiting list. Most Casino's would fire up another table with that number, but not Rama. They can take lazy to an entirely new level, given the opportunity.
"I do have a seat at a $1/$2 Hold'Em table Mr. Bam. Would you like that?" I was asked by the room director.
As soon as I sat my azz in the #6 spot, I got a feeling about three players at the table.
The #1 spot was definitely...... a Crazian.
The #7 & #8 spot were buddies.
It took about 1/2 an hour to get a half decent read on the others, but it came.
The table started as typically limp'alicous. With at least five players to a flop if not more. The junk cards on an exploratory chase, were mucked at any action on the flop. Several times there were moves made, only to be countered with large re-raises from someone actually holding a hand.
There was Poker being played. "I think this suits me just fine!" I said out loud.
Thirty minutes into the session, I was dealt pocket aces. From middle position, I made a raise to $8. As soon as I let go of the chips, I regretted the move in a big way. This was only the second hand I'd played so far and it had to scream "monster" to those others at the table. "What an idiot!" I thought.
Buddy #1 in the #7 seat, who appeared to be a twenty something kid out on a walkabout due to some new found freedom, (either lost a girlfriend, or was done his six months with good behaviour for street graffiti) decided to raise it up on me. He looked awful antsy, as he made it $24 to go. Amazingly, his pal in the #8 seat decided to make the call. They looked like they could've been brothers. But there was something about them that told me that they weren't. They looked like they'd been to war together, but never gone to battle with each other. No they weren't brothers, they were best buddies and I was about to stack'em both.
"I'll raise." I said, as calmly as I thought I could.
I made it $100 with a flick of my wrist and figured that I'd made it too much, when both of the buddies just sat back and counted the pot. It turns out the guy in the #7 spot was in fact "free" of a longtime relationship, (he's 22! How 'long' and serious could it have been?) and was on a bit of a tear to celebrate. The #7 seat leaned forward and did his best Helmuth impersonation while saying, "I have a big hand. I don't know if I can lay it down here buddy."
Buddy in the #8 seat was twitching and shifting and sitting right up on the edge of his seat. I knew right then that I was going to get action from at least one of them. The #7 seat finally mucked his "big hand" and his best friend announced, "I'm all in," before the #7 seats cards hit the muck.
It didn't look like he was getting any air in his lungs, as the cards were tabled for the hand to be played out.
"Sorry keed. I ford a ten." said the crazian.
"Fuck man! Me too dude!" said his buddy with the "big hand" in the #7 seat.
He didn't hit his no outer to a miracle straight or flush, and I took in a pot just over $400 in the first 30 minutes.
Seat #2 got up and started doing something on his crack-berry.
Seat #5 appeared to be a veteran of not only the game, but brick & mortar action as well. She had a demeanor about her, that just felt like business. Although not asian or particularly frexibre looking, I instantly decided that she could be a BWoP. Someone capable of stacking you, should you make even the smallest mistake. This Canadian "business BWoP" had the look of someone that was there to make a buck or two.
Without as much as a lift of her head or blink of her eyes, "That's a nice way to start the day." she said as I stacked my chips.
As seat #8 re-bought in for another $200, "Nice hand dude." was all that he managed to say. I thought a simple, "thanks" would suffice.
A few orbits later, I'd noticed that the limp pattern from earlier in the game had changed dramatically when it was my BB. Three orbits where I'd played winning hands for small-ball pots only twice, and my big blind was as good as gold to the others. It appeared that I had actually developed a bit of a solid image at this table.
In my fourth stint as the BB, the crazian in the #1 seat was the only one to bring any action. Even then, it was merely a limp. "So not a crazian move" I thought. "I'd best be careful here!"
I checked my option, with the 8 and 10 of crubs in the hole.
We see a flop that comes out 9c-Jc-7h and I check.
Crazian fires a shot with $10 into the pot and I take a fair amount of time to make it $40 to go.
Instantly the crazian stands up and says, "You aces no good here. I'm arr-in dearer" He shoved what looked like about $150 in front of him.
"I don't have the aces this time, but I will call with a straight, to a straight frush re-draw." I said, as I turned up the hand that I was sure I was way ahead in.
I just needed to sweat a J or 9 as the crazian held two pair, and I did. Second big pot to be pushed my way, and fifth pot overall on the day. I was up a few bucks and was pretty happy about it. But I sensed a vibe at the table that told me there was more money to be had, all I needed to do was to focus.
"Nice hand! Why I rimp your brind? I make Bad poker me, so good poker you. Good job." says the crazian, as he shakes my hand and tosses $100 onto the table for a re-buy.
Later I made two moves to test out my table image and both, resulted in nothing but the blinds.
I needed to shift gears a little and I got a really wild idea. "I'll play one hand with junk and show it. Then I'll revert to ultra-tight and get rich!
[Go ahead! Insert random Donkey comments here]
When action came around to me, there had been a raise to $10 by the #5 seat "business" player. I held pocket fours and thought that for the price, this might be my spot to spend a few bucks and alter my image enough to get a little more action on a monster. I made the call.
"Hmmmmmmmm....." I heard come from my right.
The #8 seat also made the call and it was the three of us to the flop. A flop that comes As-4d-7s. Crap! I hit my crap!!!
I want to bet out but hold back to see who has the ace, or who will make a move to represent it. It get's checked all the way around. It was at that point that I actually thought, one of them was holding pocket aces.
Then it happened! I turned the one-outer case four. DQB's in da' house!
The "business" end of the #5 seat, lead out a pot and a half sized bet.
"Hmmmmmm....." I said in response to that. "Call."
"Oh come on! How can you both like that card, I mean really!" came from over at the #8 seat. He actually stood up for a second or two and the dealer had to remind him to stay seated at the table. When he started to get up a second time, I looked at the "business" lady and gave her a wink. I don't know why, it just felt like something that needed to be done. While it was apparent that frat boy's best buddy was going to take all the time in the world to make a decision, I figured I would work on how I was going to get her chips into the center as well. I knew that the #8 seat was going to shove. It was his M/O all the way and it totally seemed like a show being put on, 'cause he watches WAY too much Poker on TV.
It was then that the crazian carred the crock on the #8 seat, despite not being in the hand. But then he said, "you got two card, they got two card. You decide what to do and do it, so we arr go home sometime today."
The #8 seat shoved his remaining $160 across the line saying, "all-in" as he stared down the crazian. "Business" took about two seconds to match the bet and get her chips in. "I guess I know who has the aces this time." I said to her, as I announced call to the dealer. The #8 seat had her covered by about $10 so effectively, the three of us were all in at that point.
The #8 seat flipped up his suited big slick and the #5 seat got her aces opened up as fast as she could. I tabled my pocket fours and crazian went ballistic.
"He good prayer and you two know it. Why you think so rong mister? Pocket aces got bad ruck rady. Dis is big pot, BIG POT!!"
"Nice hand" said the #5 seat, as she sat back down after the river card came.
"Fuck me!" said the #8 seat to his buddy in the #7 seat.
I stacked another pot of chips.
Two hands later, I was dealt pocket Kings. After a limp and then a raise by the #2 seat, I made a re-raise to $50. Everyone including the limper folded around to the #2 seat, who made it $100 more all-in to call. I made the call to see my K-K vs. his Q-Q. "Just one of those days" he said. "Best hand I've seen all day and I run into you."
I held on in that one too. The #2 seat grabbed his coat off of the chair back and came over to shake my hand. "Wish I could have one of the days that you seem to be having." he said, as he grabbed his crack-berry and started entering something else into it as he walked away. He looked back at me, the crazian and then took a good look at the "business" lady in the #5 seat. Then he went back to making whatever notes it was he felt he needed to about us I guess.
"I don't know what he could be putting in that thing about you?" said the #5 seat.
"He arways prays the nuts!" said the crazian with a laugh. "He in hand you run!"
"You know I'm going to bust you soon right?" said the kid in the #8 seat in my general direction.
All I could think of to say was, "I'll be your Huckleberry."
Nothing incredibly spectacular happened after that hand, but I did use that table image to bluff into a few more pots along the way. I wanted to ride the high and get off the table right away, but I'm not a big fan of the hit-and-run. So I stuck around for a few more orbits than I normally would.
I was up over $2,000 or ten times my original buy-in, it was a pretty good day. As I racked up my chips, the crazian came over and said the funniest thing.
"They bruises, they don't wash off!" and he pointed to my cheeks.
I guess I did get slapped in the face a little at that table huh? But I'm OK with that. I've been on the other side of things for a little longer than most and besides, I think I look pretty good in black and blue!
My sincerest thanks for dropping by....