Dr. Feelgood ....

It is with great pleasure that I post today, in honour of someone that could use a little more humour on a daily basis. Others are warned to move away now, there'll be nothing to see here.

I've been a fan since watching the small screen set up in my bedroom. I was young, (the youngest in the family) and no one else got it. In fact, the reason the little idiot box was purchased in the first place, was just for a 1/2 hour every week.

Hockey game, everyone watched the "good" TV.
ABC's Wide World of Sports, everyone watched the "good" TV.
Disney on a Sunday afternoon, everyone watched the "good" TV.

But on any given Sunday morning at 11:00am, you'd find me squinting at my fuzzy pictured and very tiny little set, all by myself. Usually, laughing in hysteria for 30 minutes straight.

I know it takes a "certain" type of mind to truly get what they offer. “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?” But I am proud to say, I am one of the ones that get it. I know of another person that get's it and I hope this brings a smile to his face and a chuckle when one might surely be welcome.

So I present to you, with no further crappy words from your's truly.
A few favorite quotes from a common love, that will hopefully make...
our Dr. Feelgood.

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!”

“I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

“And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”

“There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not”

“Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!”

“First you must find... another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!”

“He must be a king.
He hasn't got shit all over him.”

“He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!”

“Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.”

“Of course, it’s a bit of a jump, isn’t it? I mean, er… chartered accountancy to lion taming in one go… You don’t think it might be better if you worked your way towards lion taming, say via banking?”

“Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.”

“Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.”

“-She turned me into a newt!
-A newt?
-I got better...”

“Always look on the bright side of life.” (are you whistling?)

Smile a little, laugh a lot! And Be safe !

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


DrChako said...

Blown away! Those are most of my favorite lines. You must be my brother-from-another-mother.


Astin said...

I suppose I should pop in The Flying Circus during Eh-Vegas? 'Twas a most happy day when the complete series did arrive at my doorstep... especially since it didn't want my liver.

Or perhaps The Holy Grail... or Life of Brian... or just the Spamalot soundtrack?