It sinks in....

So I've got a great new job opportunity.... Blah~Blah~Blah

This position is really.... Blah~Blah~Blah

Amazing how well everything is coming togeth.... Blah~Blah~Blah

I'm so excited about.... Blah~Blah~Blah

I walked around the perimeter of the cave here this morning, not sure of why I was doing so. During the jaunt, I touched trees I'd planted with Pebbles. I laughed at the piece of drywall hanging from the ceiling in the barn. The one I promised Peb's, "I'd get around to fixing up. Some day." I cleared a patch of snow large enough for a Muskoka Chair, off one end of our deck. I then placed a chair down and parked my ass into it. I sat and stared at the view I'd come to love and cherish, more than any other sight in my little corner of the world. One of the kids next door seemed to somehow know, that I needed a lonely cry.

Why I sat there was for sentimental reasons for certain, as for 30 minutes in rather minus Celsius temperatures, I managed to ignore the tears freezing against my cheeks. The snow falling and collecting upon my shoulders and head went mostly unnoticed also, as that view of my world never looked so unique to me, as it did at that very moment in time.

Its just a house and a yard I told myself.
Wood, bricks, grass and trees.

There'll be a new house in your future soon Bammer, so get over it.

The sentimentality of using ten years to build a home from a house, seems so little to get yourself all worked up over. But there I sat, saying goodbye to the spoils of my labour just the same.

In one hand I hold a signed contract of intent. A document that has the power to change our lives for the better forever. In the other hand, a one-way plane ticket.
That one-way, is away.
Away from home.

One week from today I'll be starting the process all over again. A challenge that has never caused me any reason for concern in the past. But as I sat there on the deck enjoying the sights and sounds that I've truly come to think of as home, it started to sink in.

It wasn't the brick, the wood, the grass or the trees I was saying goodbye to. It wasn't the friends, family, neighbours, or even the rural route mail delivery guy at the end of the driveway that I was going to miss the most.

As much as I've travelled over the years and made the adjustments for my living arrangements accordingly, for the first time in my life it was really hitting me. What was happening to me was the clarity of the moment. I've left houses, apartments and various neighbourhoods and friends behind before with nary a thought. But this time somethings different.

This is the first time I have ever had to say goodbye to my home.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


Josie said...

You're home is coming with you. Pebs is making the move too, yes?

DrChako said...

Yet another thing we need to share over a beer. As a military guy, we've gotten used to the whole moving thing. It's never easy.

Wishing you the best on the move.


OhCaptain said...

Moving is never easy. I'll be wishing you the best on this move as well. I agree with the Doc, something we can share over a beer or a nice glass of something tasty and old enough to vote.

Wolfshead said...

It can be a bitch. When you're younger moving can be tough, you have your regrets and wishes, but youth is resiliant, it recovers faster. Ain't as simple when you get older, as with strained muscles you don't recover as fast. You put a lot of time in making where you are where you wanted to be and now you have to start over, there are a lot of memories of that effort there. All I can di is wish you the best of luck and hope your new house becomes home very quicklyfor you and that you aren't faced with such decisions again. Good luck to you and Pebs.

Memphis MOJO said...

GL with the move.

SirFWALGMan said...

I am glad there were no sheep involved in this story.. I was getting worried as you went down the list of what was not involved.

BWoP said...


Wishing you all the best with the move.

PokahDave said...

Good luck Bammer. It's never easy to move. I've had enough after moving 8 times in 12 years. Hope you end up happy where ever the move is....