One thing about commuting is a given. You will eventually wonder why you weren't the one that invented the "Bumper Sticker." Why couldn't I at least be related to the "king of the bumper sticker," Forest P. Gill, a silk screen printer from Kansas City. I mean they're everywhere! The guy's family has to be so filthy stinkin' rich !
For the most part, I find them to be pretty much crap. The likes of ;
-My kid is a, (insert random brag here)
-Don't wash this vehicle - Undergoing scientific dirt test.
-You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.
-Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
But I have to admit, there have been a few that have actually made me LOL on the way to or from work of late. Now I don't know who writes the material for bumper stickers but IMHO, there has been a little more thought put into it of late.
Seen recently ;
-Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
-I got this motor home for my wife. Best deal I ever made
-Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
-If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
-Nothing political is correct.
Then there's also the story behind the wheel.
In some cases, it's not necessarily just what the stickers say, as much as it is who's driving the vehicle they're on. The next three were on the same vehicle. A 2007 Mercedes 500 SL with the license plate INO DLAW, being driven by a fairly cute 30 something redhead.
-So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
-Women who seek to be equal to men, lack ambition.
-All men are idiots....I know. I married their king.
The driver of this next car, was an 80 something year old man!
-500,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain
-Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
-Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Since these were all over the back of it, I'm guessing the guy in this van isn't a huge fan of Greenpeace or Broccoli!
-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
-Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
-I love cats...they taste just like chicken
-Save the Dolphins? What did the cows do wrong?
-I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I see the kid in this next truck almost everyday. One day I just have to stop him and check out his sense of humour. He seems to add one sticker every couple of months.
-Why be difficult - when you can be impossible.
-I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be, without sponges.
-Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
-Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
-Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-I want to die in my sleep like grandpa. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car!
-Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips
And here's a few more randoms that just caught my fancy ;
-Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
-Beauty is often in the eye of the beer holder.
-Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
-My wife keeps complaining, "I never listen to her"...or something like that.
-Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
-If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
-Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
I know, I know! Bumper Stickers, you're thinking to yourself.
But there's a lot of time to think about this shit when it's an hour or more each way, five day's a week! So I'll just leave you with a few stickers I've seen, that were clearly blatant theft from the great George Carlin. But they are every bit as appropriate now, as the day he first ever uttered the words.
-So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
-You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
-The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
My sincerest thanks for dropping by....