When a Donkey speaks and it's you....

Every once in a while I need to make a brutal decision, just so that I can prove to myself once and for all, that I am indeed still an idiot! Last night I did just that.

It started out innocent enough, with just one double or nothing table. I got ahead fast.... Like REALLY fast! In a run worthy of Astin himself, I was dealt pocket Aces two of the first four hands and in both cases, I managed to hit the set against players with big slick. Too sweet for words ! So feeling the rush, I fired up another one.

Running two tables has never been an issue for me, as long as the connection holds up. Well for some bizarre and unexplainable reason last night, my 79 miles of dial-up was purring like a kitten. Six hands into that game and I'm dealt a playable looking pair of red Jacks in the SB. I'm allowed to limp with just one other caller and the three of us see a flop of A-J-J. OMG !!!!! There was a checked around flop and then the turn brought a second club, in the form of an 8. This started the betting war that went back and forth between the three of us and finally, all the chips managed to get into the center. I felt a huge rush of adrenalin as all three stacks were slid my way at the end. I was running hot in both games now, with triple the chips at each table.

If there's one thing I've learned about on-line poker, when you're being bitch-slapped by the RnG, you should really walk away. So in my peanut squash, logic dictates you ride the wave as far as it will take you, when the opposite is occurring. Yup! Let's get a third table fired up Bam! How it was working on the dial-up I have, I have no idea. But it was and the speed was the same as if I only had the one game going. SaaaaWeeeeeeeT !!!

No big monsters early in this one though, but I figured it was still early. I got into a pot with a shorty in Game #1, knowing full well we'd probably be playing for his entire stack post-flop. I was holding big slick this time and saw a flop of A-10-Q. As expected, he jammed it in after my check and I was left with a decision. TPTK and a gutter to a straight. What would he be holding? My brain said A-x and I hope it's not a Queen or 10. I play so brutal in these spots at times, particularly when it's only just on 2-1 for my money. Figuring it was possibly a Donkey play, but I had lots of chips to work with, I made the call. Acey-frickin-duecey!!! Well because the RnG is all over me in love right then, not one single duck hits on the turn or river and I've eliminated another one. The very next hand, two players get at each other and get it all in the center. It's Aces vs. Kings and the rockets hold. So in the first game of double or nothing, I'll take double thank you very much!

Back to two games and feeling pretty comfortable, I realize that the mookie would be starting in just about 15 minutes or so. Hmmmmmmm...... good connection....... was just running three tables really well...... the 79 miles of dial-up is on fire !

Can you sense the idiotic tendencies building in this thought process? I can now, but I sure as hell couldn't see anything wrong with it last night.

So on with this sick and twisted plan I go. While running PokerStars and two tables on my dial-up connection in the middle of nowhere, I fire up FullTilt and register for the mookie. Brilliant I say...... BRILLIANT !!!! MmmmmWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Then in Game #2 over on Stars, I flop Broadway while on the button and being allowed to limp. After seeing the flop raise from villain #1, I decide to put him to the test. He bites and that game is over as well. So in the second game of double or nothing, I'll take double once more thank you very much!

Now I was a little busy with all that play going on, so I forgot to take a shot for prosperity purposes. but I did think of it once the mookie was about 15 or 20 minutes in. Here's my craptastical 7 yr. old computer in the middle of Heaven on Earth, 79 miles from anything even remotely considered technology, running both sites and both games.



I know, I know ! To you this is a drop in the bucket. But to me, last night started out like some incredible on-line poker Nirvana. I almost felt..... well..... GEEKY.

Now here it comes....... wait for it...........

"I should fire up another double or nothing!"

There are times when a man catches himself talking aloud to no one but himself. I find, (through reflection only unfortunately!) that these are the times he SHOULD NOT listen to what he is saying!

I fire it up, I make a call in the mookie, I make a raise in Game #3, I make another call in the mookie....... wait! Why the hell did I call there? I take down the pot in Game #3 and fold in both the mookie and Game #4. Who's that at my table in the mookie? Hey Fred! Raise in Game #4..... crap ! That was the mookie! Now raise in Game #4 oh crap! I need to jam in game #3, this guy will pay me off! GOLD !!!!

TwoBlackeAces : Hey Bam, sry I got 8 tables on the go here. How are you

Now whether you know me or not, I'm sure you can imagine the look on my face as I ponder playing 8 tables at a time? Hell! I'm making mistakes galore in three, and one of them just started.

I tried, but I'm just not ready to play three games at once and have proper social interaction with the friends that I want to. I made three really good plays in the mookie, but I mixed them in with 4 really, really bad plays. I donked off to Al in a race of live cards vs. Big Slick. My mookie was over.

On the brighter side however, in games #3 and #4 of double or nothing, I'll take double from each of them as well, thank you very much!

Crushed by my donkery in the mookie, I sentenced myself to playing $12 at a $0.25/$0.50 RAZZ table. I set myself one rule, double or nothing. My penance was not long lived however, as I stood up with about $33.60 just 16 or so minutes later.

With all things back to right in my world, it was time to shut it down. Surprisingly, I actually listened to myself when something intelligent was being said. It was about time!

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....