German Engineering, a bad beat story....

Ok, let me see……….. Where were we?

Ah yes! The latest in German engineered, ( but produced in Korea by child laborers for certain) dome tent is finally up and the rain suddenly came to an end. Right!

Those Germans Engineers are really smart too you know! They’ve managed to design the most brilliant of tents and made it about as easy to assemble as humanly possible. That is of course, if you can make any sense at all of the directions. Like I said yesterday, Peb’s is the directions gal and listening to her say things like, “insert large pole into pockets, then place small left over pole into the similarly small pockets accordingly.” can be rather erotic if you ask me. Helpful, not so much! After searching everywhere on the fly of the tent for “pockets,” we go back and read the directions one more time. Then again, and again… and one more time, just to make sure we’re not really the idiots that we seem to be acting like at the moment. “Pockets.” “Where the F did the Germans put those bloody pockets?” I actually said out loud several times. We had no luck at all and I tell you, I was a bit miffed that we’d managed to buy the only tent out there that those little Korean kids forgot to put the “pockets” on.

Then it came to me. Who had the most fun screwing with my head? The German Engineer that didn’t design “pockets” into the fly? or, the hot and sweaty kid working for $0.02 a day who decided to simply ‘miss’ the “pockets” on one of the thousands of fly’s that go by him everyday? One of them, must certainly have had a little, “tee-hee” to themselves, as they wondered who the moron would be, that was lucky enough to get this special surprise during assembly. Well I figure the kid couldn’t afford to lose his job and therefore, wouldn’t do anything so risky as this. “Damn German Engineers,” I screamed out to no one in particular. “Let’s go to the next step Peb’s, maybe we can get creative.” I said, as I wanted to keep pushing onwards. “The next step,” announced my darling Wife, “is on the next page just a sec. Uuuuugggghhhh…. Turn the fly upside down and fold back the air vents, in order to easily find the pockets.”

German Engineers – 1
Bam-Bam – 0

The whole group of us sat under the light of the slowly appearing moon. The skies were clearing, the beer was cold and the company was as it always is, fantastic.

The morning brought with it something I have never experienced in all my years of camping. Sunshine!! What an unbelievable feeling that was. To just stand next to a tent and let the warmth and radiance of that big yellow ball ‘O’ flames in the sky, reach deep into the fiber of my being. It was nearly orgasmic. So much so in fact, that just parking my ass in a chair and enjoying my coffee, was the only thought I could manage to muster for almost an hour. But there were mouths to feed, nine of them in fact. So DonKaaa, brudder Carson and I, all fired up our German Engineered stoves to get started. Surprisingly, all three fired right up. The plan was a simple breakfast of Bacon & Eggs and the plan…. Well, the plan went off perfectly thank you very much! There was even a point in the cooking process, where all three of us hoisted a glass and our cooking utensils in a generally Southeasterly direction, as we realized just how proud Al would have been of us. What, with not one but THREE stoves completely covered in some of a pig’s best work! With a tall-boy in one hand and a plate full of the pork motherload in the other, I was definately in camping heaven.

German Engineers – 1
Bam-Bam – 1

One of the special features of this little campground we were at is a long and winding River that meanders all throughout the countryside. And where there’s water, you’ll find TuckFards and their coolers for certain! In this case however, it’s TuckFards and their coolers ON the water. A three-hour ride down the River in a bunch of tubes, with a large floating inflatable boat in the center acting as the bar. What a trip! The only downside to this little group outing, was when the River decided Peb’s needed to be running the wood gauntlet along the shoreline, just to see what she was made of. The loud “pop” was quick and effective. Her tube had sprung a leak and it would be deflated in no time. I did the boy at the dyke thingy for as long as I could. We rode down together, me with my finger jammed into the hole and gripping the surrounding material as tightly as I could. We managed to make it to the next run of shallows, where we could all stop to assess the damage. It was done! A little rearranging of bodies, tubes and beer coolers later, and Peb’s had a tube to complete the trip. What a blast it was too! Oh and I’m not exactly sure who’s idea it was to hand Carson the super-soaker water gun? But I’m sure Suzy_Q would like to have a word with you outside, for making that call! With the exception of one stoopid little pointy stick, (obviously Engineered into position for maximum destruction) that was three hours of pure heaven.

German Engineers – 1
Bam-Bam – 2

The night was spent chatting about old times, looking forward to new times and just basically doing what the six of us do best, just enjoying each others company. There was a record set at dinner too I believe. I managed to be the only one to get all the way through not one, BUT TWO mini-Donk-eh made super burgers. I’ll be honest with you now guy’s, getting that last bite down was a lot tougher than it looked. I’ve eaten ½ a Cow like that before of course, but not after all of the afternoon munchies and beer and munchies and beer and oh…. did I mention beer? We ended the night around an awesome campfire with some great conversation and a wide variety of alcoholic beverages. Good times. Hell! There was even a brief ‘teenage girls’ siting at the fire, as Marshmallows and spider-dogs seemed to find their way onto skewers for roasting. Those spider dogs looked amazing too. If I wasn’t still attempting to digest the ½ a Cow from earlier on in the evening, I would’ve loved to make myself one of them for sure. I’m not exactly positive who showed mini-Donk-eh how to Engineer those monstrous and delicious Hamburgers we wolfed down at Dinner. But as I was missing out on the spider-dogs by the fire….. I had a pretty good idea!

German Engineers – 2
Bam-Bam – 2

Camping returned to normal at around 3:00am. Sunday morning. Rain, thunder and lighting, all did their best in creating a much more familiar atmosphere for yours truly. It came down in buckets and slowly faded to a drizzle, all the while soaking everything we’d brought with us for the trip. The unexpected 3:00am. rain, is perfectly engineered for those that basically pass out around the fire. Leaving all of their possessions out to fend for themselves against the elements. We were nine drowned campers, (now known as “Dampers” I believe) and we needed to pack up all our wet gear and head home. Once home, it would all have to be set up again or hung out to dry, meaning Pebbles was about to “help” me once again! Actually, after getting my helmet and ‘cup’ on for protection, the damn tent went up pretty easy the second time around. I’m not sure if it was the daylight, the lack of Beer or just because it was the second time I put it up. But maybe, just maybe….. Those crafty German Engineers are on to something there.

German Engineers – 3
Bam-Bam – 2

Thanks gang!
I know we say it all the time, but Peb’s and I honestly can’t think of four others, (well five including mini-Donk-eh! And I guess it should be seven, since 'technically, the teen-monsters were on the trip as well) that we’d ever want to have spent this camping trip with. You’re the best!

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....