Vegas... Day 5....

Yeah I know. "What the hell happened to day 4?" you're asking.

Day 4 was officially "Pebbles Day" in Vegas. Who the hell wants to hear what she wanted to do all day? Besides, she could post it over at TuckFards if it was so exhilarating right?

For the record, Day 4 was a hoot! We did the list of 'things we've never done together in Vegas.' One of which I am truly amazed at how much frickin' fun it really was. We may have just found our own version of Crack in what is lovingly known as, The Penny Slots.

Yes! Penny Slots!

Quick question for anyone who is a Penny Slot Junkie. How the hell do you win at those things? I mean, we hit rows full of starfish, rows full of shithawks, rows full of lighthouses and hundreds of rows full of various other shite, that each paid us a grand total of $0.90 for the $0.75 we had invested. But there were times when I couldn't count all the connected zig-zagging lines that went through complete crap, that paid us $22.00 or more a pop. What's the real secret gang? Are these things the NLHE of slot machines or what? Hit complete crap and come out a huge winner!

We each found one that made us laugh out loud and like moths to a flame, we were drawn in every time we were in the Penny perimeter. Mine was Rock Lobster. Yes it played the song every time we hit the bonus. I went on one run of picking traps in the bonus round that let us hear the song 1 1/2 times through. We danced in the aisle the whole time and thus, caused our server to literally LOL. We didn't care and it showed, so she joined in and busted some pretty good B-52 like moves right along with us. We grabbed our drinks and I looked down at the bonus payout I'd just hit. The machine said $11.95. I gave the great dancing Liz a $12 tip. It just seemed reasonable.

Then Pebbles came across a sweet old blue hair playing a game called Village People Party. Just as she was walking by, the machine lit up the entire area and started belting out YMCA. I'll be damned if that old doll didn't boogie her ass off, right there in the seat. We were rolling on the floor as she explained, "You don't win if you don't dance baby!" And dance she did! Complete with the arm actions you see made by really drunk guests at an open bar wedding. Well this causes quite the commotion and some guy sits in the seat at the end of the old girls row. Peb's gives me "the look," and sits down at the middle machine. Her hand reaching up and over her shoulder, I hand her some cash. First pull. FIRST FRIGGIN' PULL and that thing was wailing out the tune again. Instantly, all three of them are out of their seats and doing some form of disco-sonic-hustle-bump motion and singing at the top of their lungs.

As I fell to floor, (due to lack of oxygen intake from serious 90% exhale-only laughter) I hit my back on one of the chairs behind me. None of them noticed though, they were all firmly entranced with the beauty of the dance, and the cha-ching of the Pennies racking up on Pebbles machine. Apparently drink bringing B-52 Liz noticed and as she handed me my Scotch, at least asked if I was alright, before bustin' another move with my wife.

That wasn't the only thing bustin' over there though. With the combination of her arms spelling out YMCA, and the nearly there outfit they supply for Liz to perform her liquidious duties in, let's just say it was like her tip had now turned into more of a lap dance payment! Peb's managed to rack up about $36 on her little boogie-thon so I slipped Liz $20. It seemed only fair with everything I enjoyed during the dance and besides, she was definitely better qualified than most of the afternoon shift we'd seen so far on the trip. And we were giving them $20 for a much lesser view and very sub-standard dance moves. Well, having our little dances and showing a sizable Penny profit, Peb's cashed off the machine. It was then that Liz mentioned her favorite machine over in the back there. "I love that one because it plays Santana." she said.

There comes a time in every man's life, when he must realize the real secret to having a great marriage. I needed to utilize that secret right at that moment. I looked my darling wife right in the eyes and said, "Don't you just love Santana?" Many a man would wait for the question and say something like, "whatever you want" or the worst offender of all, "Yes Dear." Not me! It was her day and I was going to take part in it dammit! After the hug was over, I dropped another $20 into Black magic Woman. This $20 didn't do so well. We sat there and lost it in no time playing $0.75 at a pull. No bonus round, no music, no Liz and Peb's bumpin' body parts in the aisle. WTF ??? I thought this might just get us to quit the new habit cold turkey. We sent a very sad puppy looking Liz, away for more drinks. We needed to re-group and come up with a plan of attack. How were we going to get our Penny Jones back on?

After seeing the look on poor Liz' face as she skulked over to the bar, I was terrified to look over towards what surely must have been a devastated Pebbles! BUT NO !!! There was Peb's just sitting there, humming along and right in the middle of the chorus. Da-da-da-magic-woman-da-da-da-da. She looks up at me and says, "I can't imagine what kind of dance Liz does to that hun?" I plugged my $48 slip from Rock Lobster into Black magic Woman, just as Liz was returning with our drinks. Both of their faces lit up the room and then on the fifth or sixth pull of that damn arm....

My Pebbles Day happy place?

Second verse..... Liz on one side..... Peb's on the other.

Don't turn your back on me, baby.
Don't turn your back on me, baby.
Yes, don't turn your back on me, baby,
Don't mess around with your tricks;
Don't turn your back on me, baby,
'cause you might just wake up my magic sticks.

With a very wry smile and quite the gleem in her eye, my Pebbles looked me right in the eyes and said, "Hmmm, well I guess THATS how she dances to that song honey,"

;o)

Last day........ on it's way.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....