5/04/2010

No garden of eden....

Trying to describe the craziness around the cave these days, would be akin to discussing 'being priced in' with poker bloggers at the round table. A whole lotta' chatter, with very little actual substance.

Our immediate attention has shifted to Fred as of late. Things are definitely NOT going according to plan. Unfortunately Fred's back in Hospital and has been, since last Friday afternoon.

This third and most violent round of chemo, has really been kicking the shit out of him. To the point where he's basically become useless. He can't stand for much more than thirty seconds or so, without becoming totally gassed and dizzy. This treatment has been scheduled to be so aggressive, due to the fact that they believe the problem may have crept it's way towards his brain.

The stress on the family right now is also taking it's toll on Wilma. She recently passed out and we're all sure it's just a sign of the fatigue from fighting the good fight. But the Doctors, they're not quite as positive as us. They yanked her license to drive, fearing it may have been a seizure of some kind. I'll agree that if that is in fact the case, I don't want her anywhere near a vehicle on the road. But of course with Fred in Hospital, that leaves Wilma in a terrible spot. So needless to say, we've taken on the important role of taxi/EMT to make sure that the two can be together as much as possible. It makes for some pretty long and tiring days. This family is totally worth it though and one thing is for absolute certain, I'll do any damn thing I can, to help this family of ours get through whatever happens along the way!

We'll find out later today or tomorrow, what our next course of action is going to have to be. It's basically coming down to two ways to go. Continue on as is, with Fred being less than 1/1000th. of the man he has been and should be, or stop the chemo and see how long he can last with some semblance of quality of life. I say to myself, 'I know which way I'd choose to go.' but then again, I'm not the one going through the situation. Do you know FOR SURE, what way you would end up going?

Add the fact that I'm stuck watching Peb's go through this whole ordeal and I'm sure you'll know, it's bringing me to my knees. Nothing and I mean NOTHING, breaks my heart as much as seeing her hurt inside. Like her Dad, she thinks she's pretty good at bottling it all up inside and tucking it away. When you love someone more than life itself, (and we all know how much I love to live!) seeing through the deception and getting right down to the pain inside is not only easier than expected but also, far more agonizing to your system. Occasionally this rock you have all come to know, has turned to wreck instead.

Fred and Wilma have both extolled the virtues of gardening, as a soothing and regenerating pastime. They said I was starting to show the signs of too much stress myself. They thought I needed a hobby to help get my mind off of everything that was going on. So during a little downtime where there was just nothing I could do to help anyone, I thought I'd dig up a big'ole hole and get the healing process started right away.

Did I mention that we haven't had any rain at all this Spring?

Well here's the after shot.


That is.....

After two hours of beating the crap out of myself with a roto-tiller!

Soothing huh? Soothing my ass!

Here's the real after shot.


And the garden is ready for planting.

Oh and if you believe I let the demons get to me and I hung in there with the roto-tiller for that, you're sadly mistaken!

I did it the old fashioned guy way!
I simply got a bigger hammer!


Fred and Wilma were right!
I feel better already!

Now off to see what we can do to help Fred. I know Fred really likes radishes so hopefully, he'll hang around long enough to critique the ones I'm going to try and grow for him.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....

8 comments:

KenP said...

Stick with the attitude of it being all about Fred's wishes. The rest of us can ignore that with our hopes and prayers for those we love. I've been down that road and family wishes can cause undue pressure that can take one's decision away from self to accommodate family. Love is a two way street.

Been there. Seen that. Sick at heart.

KenP said...

P.S. You and Tim Taylor have a lot in common.

Wolfshead said...

Sorry to her aboutFred. Best of luck to him and the rest of your family whatever way he chooses.

One thing, be sure to mack sure that the rest of you take care of yourselves. I've seen too many cases among my friends where a family member falls ill and they get so wrapped up in caring for and worrying about that person they ignore themselves and then they fall majorly ill as well. i don't think red would wish to see that happen to any of his family so work that garden, take some to relax, eat well and make sure everyone else does so as well. Good luck and best wishes.

Sean D said...

Love is the most powerful tool in the world. Both Joanna and I are praying for you once again.

If you could pass this note to him it would mean a lot to me.

Fred,

I don't have the right answers , as someone who lost my sister to cancer, I just know that a bunch of your wonderful family's friends are worried sick and we want to see you better.

You are such a great fighter and we can't wait to hear better news from Bam Bam.

Stay Strong and Live Brave my friend

Sean

Fred aka TwoBlackAces said...

Your a great son-in-law BB....and I feel your pain, as I am going through something similar with a love one as well. My best wishes to you, Pebs and your family.

BWoP said...

I'm so sad to hear the news about Fred. Know that all of you are in my thoughts always.

Love you!!!

lightning36 said...

As you know, I have just completed Round One vs cancer in my family, but that is nothing compared to the body blows and head shots you are taking.

So sorry to hear this all. I will say some special prayers for you and your family.

As others have mentioned, please take care of yourself.

DrChako said...

Tough news. My thoughts are with you.

-DrC