As you probably all know I really, REALLY like to keep the ol' glass as half full as I can. But lately, it's been a much larger challenge than normal for me.
- I'm one of the lucky few, (based on the planets population alone!) that was fortunate enough to have found his soul mate.
- I'm also thrilled and extremely blessed, to know so many others that have been just as fortunate.
- I'd dare anyone and I mean ANYONE, to find someone with more true friends than me.
- I live in what can best be described as "Utopia." So much so in fact that as you can see,
it really does exist!
- I have a beautiful, intelligent and caring daughter. 'Nuff said!
- I have my health for the most part. Yes I'm an older kid now and sometimes, I'm forced to wake up paying the price for a few questionable decisions made in the prime of a rather wild youth.
- I had that youth and to the best of my abilities, I try to maintain that youthful enthusiasm.
- I'm loved by so very many and thankfully, I'm just bright enough to be aware of that fact.
So why so glum?
Back at the end of January if you remember, I was forced into a state of semi-retirement. Not so bad on it's own actually, as corporate Bedrock was getting to me anyways.
No, that wasn't the crippling blow by any means. In fact as smart as we'd been with the financials AND the buy out package they were forced to offer, things actually looked pretty damn good at that point.
What does have me down just a tick though, is the process of replacing the job.
I constantly get the same 2 1/2 answers, despite how well my particular skill set happens to match to the particular position.
Answer #1 - You are WAY too qualified. We'd never be able to afford you.
Answer #2 - An Engineering degree would have made you a lock.
Answer #1/2 - It's a half answer, only because it's the unspoken words. That's an awful lot of experience on your resume. Very impressive Sir!
For answer #1, don't you think even one of them would stop long enough to consider an offer at least?
I give you, exhibit A =
A slightly larger than local Ma & Pa shop here in town. Big enough to be threatening to the really BIG boy's, yet manageable enough to feel comfortable. Successful yes, but with enough promise to be taken over the top. Ma & Pa liked me so much in fact, that they showed me EVERYTHING!
They have obviously had issues with the current management, leading them in the wrong direction. I can fix that! Honest, it's just what I do.
But their decision instead was, "just a little too high falutin' for us son."
For answer #2, how that miracle piece of paper makes me a different man or makes me better at what I do, is just beyond me. I get the dedication and commitment it takes to get a degree, honest I do. In fact, I truly admire all that go through the process. BUT.....
I give you, exhibit B =
This huge corporation used to be one of my 31 suppliers. As in I was solely responsible for their quality, delivery, productivity and costing, for a fairly large Asian auto maker that starts with an H. On my business card at the time it said,
Bammer: Head of Engineering.
No paper needed, just the faith in my abilities as constantly shown. Eleven piece of paper holders and two without, directly reported to me. One of the two without, was the best worker I've ever known in my life. The other without, was definitely in the top four.
For answer # 1/2, the unspoken words are simple to read. How can we get all of that experience and skill, in someone half his age instead?
I don't need to get rich, I'm richer in most things than anyone I know. But it would be nice to contribute again, to belong and be needed. I'd like to feel like the difference maker again, something I've felt my entire career and right now, I'm sorely missing.
I don't really know why I'm writing all this out but maybe it's because I'm about to officially toss rejection letter #100, into the big round bin beside me.
As I sit with the cursor hovering over "publish" and "delete," I'm not sure which one I'm actually going to do.
Aw fuck it!
No sense not being me now is there?
My sincerest thanks for dropping by....