I had the most interesting conversation with a very good friend of mine the other day. As the discussion developed I came to realize, we were basically writing this Edition of Frantic Friday as we talked.
"Em" is a really good friend. Next to Peb's, I think maybe I find her the easiest women on this ol' flying rock to talk to. Our conversations are honest, sincere, fun and above all else, completely wide open to anything. That as you can imagine, makes for some really interesting discussions.
It all started with a text message from "Em" that read, "Whatcha doin?"
Well I was enjoying a little downtime on the deck, and I wasn't really in the mood for texting. So my response was :
"Em" took a little while to respond to that, but eventually I got her text telling me what to do.
She wrote :
I sent her a message telling her that I was quite comfortable out on the deck and that nothing, was getting between me and my Margarita.
"Em" said she'd come over instead. Smart girl!
It was a pretty hot day in the :
and it was when "Em" came around the corner of the house that I remembered, despite being one of my best friends, she's also quite :
She smiled that smile that always tells me how happy she is to see me and despite the heat of the day and the comfort level my butt was achieving in my chair, I ran down the stairs of the deck to give her a hug for that smile. It's what I do people! I'm a hugger.
Heading back up onto the deck while asking "Em" if she wanted a drink, I did what any civilized male should know best to do, I extended my hand and offered up :
Now it's not like "Em" has the :
or anything, but I am a man after all and what man wouldn't have let out a little :
at what I was being shown at the time?
In shorts suitably short enough to be called Daisy Dukes, "Em" had no secrets hidden as she made her way up the stairs ahead of me. I asked her, ""Em" what the hell does that say?"
I actually heard her giggle that wicked little girl giggle and as she stopped and turned to face me she asked, "What're you doing, staring at my ass?"
"You put it right there in front of me, for crying out loud!" I bellowed.
"Em" mumbled something like "Ladies first my ass!" and I couldn't help but feel like our conversation had come around full circle at that point. So all I could say was, "You're ass indeed."
Then she did something totally unexpected. She half dropped trow and showed me that her :
had more writing on them than I first thought!
They said :
As surprised as I was about the little show "Em" was putting on, I must have been a little too focused on the central focal point of the display!
"Em" said :
So I told her that I did already and that naturally, I would post it here on the interwebs, just to let the entire world know what a fine ass she really does have.
(man of my word "Em," you know that!)
This is about where we started to have the weirdest conversation. I think I asked something along the lines of, "Do all your panties have something written on them?" or to that effect.
"Em" responded with, "There's not usually enough material to them for writing Bammer."
Now I'm not exactly as simple as I often let on to be folks. Well OK.... I'm not THAT far from simple but still.... even I could figure out that "Em" usually enjoyed wearing a :
My first reaction as seems to be usual for me, (refer to simple above!) was :
"Em," can I ask you a question?"
"Always!" she replied, as she always has since we've known each other. "You should know by now Bam, you can always ask me anything about anything. I like when we're both an open book! That's what I dig about us the most!"
"Well open book, isn't wearing one of those things well...., like walking around with a permanent :
After she stopped laughing at me, I guess the look on my face as I asked was pretty funny, she said, "There are lot's and lots of different kinds of :
Now I know for a fact that I was making some bizzaro kind of face at that comment, 'cause "Em" nearly fell off her chair as she was laughing and pointing in my general direction.
Getting the PAL in my own backyard! Sheeeeeeeesh!
"Bammer" she said, "sometimes and I know this is going to be hard for you to comprehend as a man, but sometimes, there are a few :
that a gal like me, may actually enjoy."
I sat shocked no, MORTIFIED! at what "Em" was saying. OMG!
My mind immediately raced to what possible :
could be a "GOOD" thing? I mean come on SERIOUSLY??????
WHAT THE FUCK?????
It was after a small amount of calming down on my part and a little explanation by "Em" that I finally came to understand the issue. My mind immediately raced to something like :
that could cause internal bleeding or something, while "Em" was thinking a little differently for sure.
"Em" was talking about the slightly more playful and definitely more pleasurable kind of :
I mean big picture and all, I still don't really get it. But if it's "Em's" thing and she's kinda into it, I guess it may be alright in the end.
(see what I did there?)
After making us both another cocktail, I told "Em" that she was a funny, funny girl. But that I was really into her as a friend and since I had my own kind of fun with wedgies and all, who was I to judge her.
"YOU LIKE WEDGIES HAH! That'll be the day Bam." She almost exploded as she spit out the sentence. "Bammer your my best friend and it's high time I told you something that I've always wanted to. I know for absoloute certain that you Sir, ALWAYS go :
After wiping myself off and cleaning the freshly spewed Margarita off the new deckboards, I could only stop and stare in amazement at my friend.
A little hypocrytical of me I guess, but what's SHE doing checking my junk out? Bizzare how weird AND hot that was, both at the same time!
I chose NOT to pursue that conversation any further, and we moved on to what type of wedgie was actually on my mind. (thank him/her/it/them or ?, that "Em" let it drop there as well!)
"Look 'Em'" I said, "You should know me well enough by now to know, the only kind I'm ever going to like, is the :
It was then my turn to ROTDL, (deck silly!) at "Em."
What a look!
"What the hell is a :
you idiot?" asked "Em."
"Oh for Pete's sake "Em," you know, a :
is a wedgie in reverse."
"I can't." I said.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Uh "Em," you're the one that brought up my uh, ummmm... let's just say 'military' background ok." I explained.
"OH yeah. COMMANDO, COMMANDO, COMMANDO! she said loud enough for the neighbours who are not very close at all, to hear.
"OK Bam, show me by doing it to me then."
"WTF NO!" I had to say. I mean, she's hawt and all and I know it would be totally harmless because we're just really good friends, but could you do that to a friend?
'fuck me.' I mumbled inside my head. She just asked me AND said please.
"OK "Em, but just this once and NO funny stuff alright!" I almost admonished, as I said it with a finger wave at her nose.
I grabbed her hands and gently stood "Em" up. While still holding her left hand, I turned her to face slightly away from me and undid the top button and fly of her shorts.
"This my dear "Em," is a :
are you happy now? I asked." Even though I have to be honest and admit it myself, I certainly was!
"OMG Bammer! "Em" said with her pants still down around her knees. "The next time I'm over and Peb's is around, we're SO going to have a little something super-special just for you!"
"Oh yeah, what's that?" I wondered out loud.
"If you even think you like these just a little tiny bit Bam, imagine how much you're going to love a :
from Peb's and I?"
Folks, I give you my "Em."
DEFINITELY one of the good ones!
Have a great weekend all and as always,
My sincerest thanks for dropping by....