Poker 'Funnies'....

I really miss this place!
You know?

Poker's kinda' been like an old, very bad, blind date.
I see her everywhere now of course and like a smart man, I initially run! Then as I look back to make sure I'm free and clear she sets her gaze in my direction and somehow, I just can't manage to avoid that damn dreaded eye contact.

I yell "beyatch" of course but you all know the truth of the matter, no one gives a crap about the screaming man.
It's in the news everyday.
You can look that shit up, I has witnesses!

So somehow I always manage to get drawn deeper into the depths of NLHE.

I think I'll try to keep it as upbeat as I can though, so here's a look at a few of the Poker "Funnies" from the week that was.

Funny #1 ~

This is the sixth hand in a 90 man knockout. The guy has disconnected for 10 seconds before the flop, 10 more after it, continues to disconnect for 10 seconds after the turn and naturally, disconnects for exactly ten more seconds before calling my river re-raise.

Had I known it was really that bad, I would've jammed him all-in!

Funny #2 ~

This guy called my 4x re-raise of his min-raise pre-flop, then checked it to the river. Where I managed to score a lil' sumpin' sumpin' and he had a choice to make.

He could re-raise my bet, fold or....

do the right thing and call, making a comment afterwards of course!

Funny #3 ~

I'd noticed a distinct connection between a few players at this one table in another of the knockout games I've been playing. Several times throughout, I'd been getting some rather condescending comments after a big'ish win or two during the game.

This pre-flop min-raise call and turn jam by me, for example.

I sense a little less than sincerest wishes there don't you?

Funny #4 ~

A little later at the same table I wondered when you sit at a table with your pals, it's prolly smarter to use some form of IM etc., when actually playing the game. Oh, maybe they were?!!! Perhaps these fellows just had issues with cut and paste?

Polysaccharid: I got crap but with your AQ you should jam him
calmex76: go for it :)

I <3 getting lucky!

Funny #5 ~

In this hand, I'm hammered!

It's late, Scotch is flowing and the cards, not so much.
But even a drunk'ish me had to take a moment and properly bow with decorum, to the splendor of the Ace high win!

Funny #6 ~

And finally a small amount of run good.
Only in my direction for a change.

Dude's bustin' my balls with re-raise after re-raise. Being a tad bit happy, (see funny #5) I've had enough and jam the stack with a one high hand.

So funny as it sounds, I just sucked out on someone else for a change.

Now THAT my dear reader, is pretty damn funny!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled, empty space in Bedrock.

Miss you all tons.

My sincerest thanks for dropping by....


The Poker Meister said...

Nice hands & nice win! Congrats on the score!

Wolfshead said...

Don't you just love it when people misplay their hands and then blame you for sucking out on them? Took me awhile to learn that if I figured I was good I better repop the dude betting air because if I just call him down then by the river he caught up.

SirFWALGMan said...

Your should absolutely report those guys for collusion. Also did you actually win anything?