What's in a name....

I have recently been considering a name change but I have one major problem, I gave the name I think I need to Schaubs!

Bad-Luck-Schleprock is truly one of Bedrock’s most loved citizens. If it wasn’t for all of the things that happen when he’s around, he’d likely be Grand Poohbah down at The Lodge. But the facts are, the things that happen DO happen and like an impending train wreck, there’s just nothing you can do about it.

When it really starts going bad, I’ll look around to see where he is. Lately though, he’s been nowhere in sight and I have to put the blame solely on myself. This recent run at the tables has kept me up at night. (if you’re a regular reader, YES more than usual!) Last night, it was to the point where I went back to an old training process I used to use with Pebbles some time ago. I did this at 2:30am this morning. If you can’t sleep, might as well do something useful, right?

The process is simple.

1) Shuffle up and deal. (last night I used a 9 player table)
2) Make it real. (blinds and button placed appropriately)
3) Play each hand the way you really would. (ignore up cards of other hands)
4) Measure and record your results. (each position)


How bad has it gotten? Consider that I ran 22 orbits for 9 seat positions, or 198 hand combinations in total dealt out. With 9 seat positions available, here is the breakdown of pocket pairs and reasonable, (A-x..etc..) starting hands dealt out last night.

A-A = 0 .. A-Ks = 0
K-K = 0 .. A-Ko = 2
Q-Q = 0 .. A-Qs = 1
J-J = 1 .. A-Qo = 1
10’s = 0 .. A-Js = 0
9’s = 0 .. A-Jo = 0
8’s = 0 .. K-Qs = 1
7’s = 1 .. Q-Js = 0
6’s = 0 .. J-10s = 1
5’s = 1
4’s = 1
3’s = 0
2’s = 3

I dealt out a whopping 7 pocket pairs in 198 hands. w00t me! Almost 50% of them, were pocket two’s for crying out loud. I kept the Karma running cool with what? Six relatively decent starting hands as well. A total of 6% of the hands dealt out would be considered “playable” starters by the masses. SIX PERCENT ! Split that between 8 players, (the starting button position did not see one of these hands!) and you’ve got what poker is doing to me right now, in a nutshell. A less than one percent chance of seeing a hand in almost 200 dealt. All this, while we consider pocket 2’s as a starting hand.

Are you at the point where you’re wondering, “yeah ok Bam, but what about hand/player distribution?” Yes I also checked to see who was the card rack for the night. You’ll love this.

Seat 1 = (as depressing as the rest of these are, I know this was my seat)
Seat 2 = J-10s, 5-5
Seat 3 = 4-4, A-Ko
Seat 4 = K-Qs
Seat 5 = J-J, A-Qs
Seat 6 = 2-2, 2-2
Seat 7 = 7-7, A-Ko
Seat 8 = A-Qo
Seat 9 = 2-2


As the hands were actually played, the pocket 4’s and 7’s were both beaten by A-Ko. Funny they did it to each other huh? All pocket 2’s were folded after the flop because of flops like A-K-J always seeming to come out. The A-Qs was beaten by the A-Qo that drew Ruuuunnneeeeerrrs. And finally, the J-J managed to hold up against “Presto” by some form of miracle, surely passed down from the Heaven’s.

Oh and in case you haven’t figured it out yet, not one set was made in nearly 200 hands.

Variance my ass! When I see the start to a run of cards come my way, that is the exact opposite of how they’ve run for me over the last few months, you’ll find me in Vegas, at the high stakes tables. I’ll talk about variance then, all you want. As long as I’m still making a decent profit at the tables.

But until that time comes folks……

I am the Anti-Poker hand Overlord.


My sincerest thanks for dropping by….